Isn’t it fantastic that a small body of people can cause such a huge upset? What hope it gives us to know that a brave cadre can march victorious, safe in the knowledge that they’ve fought the good fight. That they’ve stopped the evil record industry from winning with their fakery. That they’ve really stuck it to The Man! Isn’t it great?

In a word. No.

Rage Against The Machine and Joe McElderry are both signed to Sony. Sorry to burst your bubble folks but all you’ve managed to do is give The Man a little bit more money.

So you see the whole premise is flawed. This, ahem, battle has only served to earn Sony £197,000 for doing absolutely nothing.

It’s not caused an upset! To have had it cause an upset, Sony would have had to care about Joe getting a number one in the first place and if you think for one minute that anyone within the recording industry actually gives a shit about Joe then you’re deluded.

All of this nonsense was only ever going to work in the recording industry’s favour, they don’t give two shits about Joe or his number two hit.

Right now he’s a money machine, they’ll wring him for every penny for his alloted year of fame, then they’ll bin him. If he doesn’t make them enough money quickly enough then they’ll bin him early. Only if he’s very successful will they keep him and let him make any real money.

Sorry Joe but you’re salaried son and when the day comes that your popularity wanes – May 2010 is my guess by the way – they’ll make you redundant. Not even Cheryl Cole and her northern solidarity shtick will be able to save you then.

Back to the good fight though.

I’ve heard it said that it doesn’t matter that Sony have made loads of money off all this silliness because Rage Against The Machine have donated all their proceeds to Shelter.

Wow! That’s got to be a good thing, right?

Not really no, it’s only their proceeds and you’re probably only talking about a few thousand pounds. It’s the label that makes the big money and I don’t think Sony will be all that keen on giving up a penny of their windfall bonus.

Besides if all these idiots were so concerned about Shelter and the homeless they shouldn’t have bought Killing In The Name in the first place, they should just have donated their 79p straight to Shelter.

Shelter would now have had £395,000 in the bank if they’d done that.

Better yet they could all just get off their fat arses and offer to help out at the nearest homeless shelter over Christmas. There are many ways to help out the homeless, sadly buying an MP3 is not at the top of that list.

At the end of it all, after the self congratulatory horse shit is over, who really cares who’s number one? Really, who? Does it make any difference in the world, no. Does it make anyone’s life better, no.

All these pompous overblown fuckwits have done is shown how monumentally stupid, self centred and pointless they are.

Well done to them all.

Beginning next Tuesday, Shvarts will be displaying her senior art project, a documentation of a nine-month process during which she artificially inseminated herself ‘as often as possible’ while periodically taking abortifacient drugs to induce miscarriages. Her exhibition will feature video recordings of these forced miscarriages as well as preserved collections of the blood from the process.

I know I’m probably meant to be shocked by this, and I am, but it’s not the art that’s doing the shocking, it’s her disregard for life and the very womanhood she probably thinks she’s defending that shocks me.

Where does a woman’s body stop and another life start? It’s a big question and one that I could never hope to answer. Abortion is an emotive subject and rightly so but inseminating yourself in order to purposefully induce miscarriage a few months later just for shits and giggles is morally reprehensible.

I hold true the fact that a woman, just like a man, has the right to do whatever they want to their body, that right carries with it responsibility though. With this act she has treated the entire process of conception like it were a body piercing, something to be used to make a statement. It is deeply saddening.

This is not art. Neither is it self expression. It is mental illness.