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• July, 2010

• The Boat That Rocked (2009) 4/5

  2010-07-25 00:48

  

  Slightly muddled but nonetheless affecting. Richard Curtis certainly knows how to write sentimentality... I liked it. Its soundtrack was amazing too.

  0.3

• Toy Story 3 (2010) 4.5/5

  2010-07-23 22:05

  

  Three words: Ken, Spanish and Buzz. They are the three words that mean you've got to see this movie.

  0.3

• The Others (2001) 3.5/5

  2010-07-22 20:30

  

  Neat premise, not entirely sure it works. Nice touches that allude to ghost cliches though, jangling keys, flying objects, door knobs being rattled, etc.

  0.3

• Predators (2010) 2.5/5

  2010-07-18 00:50

  

  Better than Alien Vs. Predator but that's not exactly a ringing fucking endorsement is it? Adrien Brody was good though.

  0.3

• June, 2010

• Explorers (1985) 3.5/5

  2010-06-12 10:18

  

  Oh, now we're talking. A blast from my childhood, a movie that I only ever saw the poster for in my local corner shop. Now I've watched it, it's everything a kids movie should be. Lovely fun.

  0.3

• May, 2010

• From Hell (2001) 2/5

  2010-05-11 19:27

  

  Dreadful. Historically inaccurate and just dreadful. I'd rather inject acid into my eyes than watch this again.

  0.3

• March, 2010

• The Hurt Locker (2008) 4/5

  2010-03-13 11:29

  

  The psychological effect of war and soldiers' reactions to it is expertly studied. The short lived cameos also add to the atmosphere of futility.

  0.3

• December, 2009

• Flushed Away (2006) 4/5

  2009-12-26 16:30

  

  Fun, fun, fun. Who wouldn't find Hugh Jackman, as Wolverine a pet rat used to the high life, battling to save some other rats from Magneto an evil toad, exhilarating? Hmm? Who!

  0.3

• November, 2009

• In The Loop (2009) 5/5

  2009-11-12 23:22

  

  Peter Capaldi is an acting god.
  
  A.J. Brown: So, you made it in OK, right?
  
  Malcolm Tucker: Yeah, hunky-dory, thanks. Can I get a coffee?
  
  A.J. Brown: Sure, sure. If we just get started, my assistant should be bringing in coffee shortly.
  
  Malcolm Tucker: Your assistant?
  
  A.J. Brown: Yeah. So, item. We need to have a conversation about the mood of the British Parliament, the bumps in the road ahead and what not.
  
  Malcolm Tucker: I'm sorry, I don't... This situation here is... Is this it? No offence, son, but you look like you should still be at school with your head down a fucking toilet.
  
  A.J. Brown: Your first point there, the offence? I'm afraid I'm going to have to take it. Your second point, I'm 22, but item, it's my birthday in nine days, so... if it will make you feel more comfortable, we could wait.
  
  Malcolm Tucker: Don't get sarcastic with me, son. We burned this tight-arsed city to the ground in 1814. And I'm all for doing it again, starting with you, you frat fuck. You get sarcastic with me again and I will stuff so much cotton wool down your fucking throat it'll come out your arse like the tail on a Playboy bunny. I was led to believe I was attending the war committee.
  
  A.J. Brown: Yes, Assistant Secretary of State Linton Barwick asked me to brief you on the work of the Future Planning Committee.
  
  Malcolm Tucker: I'm away.
  
  [AJ's assistant walks in with the coffee]
  
  Malcolm Tucker: And here we are. The fucking Vice President has also graced us with his presence. Give him a bottle of milk.
  
  See?

  0.3

• September, 2009

• The September Issue (2009) 4/5

  2009-09-11 18:45

  

  Short and to the point. These people are arses. Still they lead the world in fashion they must be doing something right!

  0.3

• Event Horizon (1997) 4/5

  2009-09-07 21:45

  

  Hellraiser in space. Criminally underrated when it was released back in 1997 I'd suggest you see it at your first convenience. The use of The Prodigy over the closing credits is quite jarring but that's my only complaint!

  0.3

• District 9 (2009) 4.5/5

  2009-09-04 20:45

  

  Fantastic alien thriller. Its part docu-drama, political statement and action flick, but each part slides seamlessly into the next. A great debut from Blomkamp let's hope he still gets to make Halo.

  0.3

• June, 2009

• Terminator Salvation (2009) 2.5/5

  2009-06-21 22:42

  

  What a wasted opportunity. Fucking awesome possibilities ruined by Bale's growly-monotone-yelling and a wonky faced Arnie. And a piss story. And a shit ending.

  0.3

• Sex And The City (2008) 3/5

  2009-06-20 20:30

  

  Strangely I liked this. At times it's funny, at times touching but it's never dull. No one is more surprised at this than I am.

  0.3

• April, 2009

• Revolutionary Road (2008) 1/5

  2009-04-04 11:43

  

  The world’s most depressing film, bar none. Fucking dreadful. I’m sure the novel is a miserable read too but Christ, I hope it’s not as wrist-slashingly-depressing as this dreary home-abortion toting grim-fest.

  0.3

• March, 2009

• Australia (2008) 3.5/5

  2009-03-04 11:38

  

  Hugh Jackman, as ever, is mesmerising. Nicole Kidman less so. One thing is clear though, this is a Baz Luhrman film. The story of a cattle farm in Darwin is really the story of the inequity in Australia’s not so distant past.

  0.3

• February, 2009

• Che: Part One (2008) 3/5

  2009-02-02 11:40

  

  Che Guevara will forever now look exactly like Benicio Del Toro. I’m not certain why I feel this but it must say something that Del Toro’s acting convinced me he was the world’s most boring revolutionary. I hope he doesn't die or anything in part two.

  0.3

• January, 2009

• The Wrestler (2008) 5/5

  2009-01-16 19:48

  

  Quite simply the best film ever made. Mickey Rourke is outstanding as Robin Ramsinsky the washed up, fucked up ex-professional wrestler who’s life has been torn apart by the sport he loved. There will be a full review of this soon.

  0.3

• November, 2008

• The Man Who Fell To Earth (1976) 3/5

  2008-11-16 13:30

  

  I was confused. Bowie's performance saves an otherwise unspectacular message movie. Though what exactly that message is, I'm still not sure.

  0.3

• Easy Virtue (2008) 3/5

  2008-11-12 20:00

  

  An entertaining if slightly stiff, interpretation of Noel Coward's tragicomedy. Highlight for me was that tit from the BT ads as the butler.

  0.3

• I'm Not There. (2007) 3/5

  2008-11-02 16:02

  

  Interesting but confusing. Cate Blanchett was good but Christian Bale was outstanding! Where was his Oscar nod?

  0.3

• Quantum Of Solace 4/5

  2008-11-01 17:45

  

  Great! Full of action and a nicely balanced story. More than a few nods to previous Bonds though and I'm a little worried to see old clichés slipping back in. Villainous super groups with dodgy names, in particular.

  0.3

• October, 2008

• Die Hard 4.0 2.5/5

  2008-10-19 22:10

  

  From start to finish this movie piles on the incredulity, until you're so inured to it that you accept every piece of piss poor dialogue and outrageous set piece. Oh, and Timothy Olyphant needs to get a better agent, he's done nothing good since Deadwood.

  0.3

• Cowboy Bebop: The Movie 3.5/5

  2008-10-05 21:07

  

  Above average アニメ that sets the standard for others to follow. Decent story and some great visuals make it worth a watch.

  0.3

• September, 2008

• Tideland (2005) 3.5/5

  2008-09-28 21:20

  

  Touching and unusually restrained for Terry Gilliam this is the story of a lonely little girl surrounded by damaged adults. Shot beautifully throughout it gives a twisted fairy tale feel to some quite creepy goings on, although it does feel like a very short snippet of a much, much larger story that stretches for decades either side of the narrative we see.

  0.3

• Time Bandits (1981) 4/5

  2008-09-21 01:00

  

  A film from my childhood, enjoyable from start to finish and suitably Gilliamishly weird with it. Sean Connery's turn as Agamemnon is very cool.

  0.3

• Supernova (2000/I) 3/5

  2008-09-18 00:26

  

  Stylish. Had the right idea. Cost £2.99. Well worth £2.99. I should have watched it more closely really, nevertheless it was schlocky fun.

  0.3

• Eagle Vs Shark (2007) 3/5

  2008-09-16 23:18

  

  A lovely, quirky little comedy. The influence of geek romance flicks like Napoleon Dynamite is clear but the performance of the two leads, as awkward, slightly slow, naive lovers more than makes up for the cribbing.

  0.3

• Slither (2006) 3.5/5

  2008-09-14 23:05

  

  Fun little horror comedy, not a patch on Shaun Of The Dead as the sleeve would have you believe, but nonetheless cool. Of course that coolness emanates almost entirely from Nathan Fillion. Shiny!

  0.3

• Shadow Of The Vampire (2000) 3/5

  2008-09-08 23:19

  

  Interesting little movie, with a decent premise. Eddie Izzard is shit, John Malkovich is passable but Willem Dafoe is out of this fucking world! A great score and a very atmospheric opening sequence set the scene for a movie that never really lives up to it.

  0.3

• The Master Of Disguise (2002) 0.5/5

  2008-09-06 12:42

  

  A confused, muddled mess of a movie. Characters have to be more than just a stereotype, they need cultural reference to sustain whole movies. That's why Austin Powers worked and this doesn't. The ½ point is for the song at the beginning. I liked that.

  0.3

• August, 2008

• Young Frankenstein (1974) 3/5

  2008-08-31 11:33

  

  Mildly amusing in places and not a bad movie, though not outstanding either. None of Mel Brooks' comedies has aged well and that stands for Young Frankenstein too.

  0.3

• The Black Hole (1979) 4/5

  2008-08-30 22:44

  

  A true classic. As was seemingly the vogue in the seventies, this is billed as a children's film but is actually nothing of the sort. Excellent effects and a bizarre plot ensure this will be watched for generations to come.

  0.3

• Freedom Writers (2007) 3.5/5

  2008-08-23 01:42

  

  Slightly saccharine but otherwise uplifting story about the impact of gang culture and racial divides on the education of inner city teens and their teacher’s belief in their ability to transcend it. Based on a true story.

  0.3

• July, 2008

• The Dark Knight (2008) 3.5/5

  2008-07-25 22:45

  

  Action packed and certainly very dark, what's all the fuss about Heath Ledger though? He's good, not astounding. The adult tone suits the material very well but the movie's too long while at the same time feeling cramped.

  0.3

• Freaky Friday (2003) 3.5/5

  2008-07-25 21:50

  

  Great little movie, funny, touching and very warm. Well worth watching if you catch it on BBC Three some night (like I did).

  0.3

• WALL·E (2008) 4/5

  2008-07-20 18:50

  

  Overwhelmingly cute and with a message too! I'm not normally a fan of Pixar's animation but I must admit to liking this one. Kudos to Ben Burtt too, the voices were amazing (not just lightsabers, eh Ben?).

  0.3

• Across The Universe (2007) 4.5/5

  2008-07-19 22:00

  

  Beatles' songs, great cinematography, Bono and Eddie Izzard! A rip roaring blast through the sixties from the point of view of Beatles' songs. A bit forced at times but nonetheless great.

  0.3

• Eastern Promises (2007) 3/5

  2008-07-13 23:38

  

  Dense little film, not particularly outstanding but shot with authority and style. Viggo Mortensen, as ever, was amazing.

  0.3

• May, 2008

• The Backwoods (2006) 3.5/5

  2008-05-28 23:07

  

  Straw Dogs 2! Well that's a little uncharitable but it's pretty fucking close. Yet another of Gary Oldman's I-do-the-blockbusters-so-I-can-do-these movies and he's pretty good in it. Paddy Considine on the other hand looks a bit stunned throughout. Grab it if you see it cheap.

  0.3

• Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008) 3.5/5

  2008-05-25 21:30

  

  Harrison Ford is Indiana Jones! Nineteen years in the making and not too shabby for it. Easily as good as the original trilogy (Lucas take note).

  0.3

• Iron Man (2008) 4.5/5

  2008-05-04 20:20

  

  What a fantastic movie! As superhero movies go this is a belter. Robert Downey Jr. excels as Tony Stark. The storyline mixes comedy, drama and action in equal measure and is really strong because of it. It's a winning formula. Go see it!

  0.3

• April, 2008

• Ratatouille (2007) 2.5/5

  2008-04-07 18:00

  

  Nice. That's about the best I can say. A talking (sort of) rat teaches a man to cook. Great...

  0.3

• Open Season (2006) 3.5/5

  2008-04-03 21:00

  

  Funny. If only for Billy Connoly's turn as a vicious squirrel. He's got a wee freakish twin on his back!

  0.3

• Get Carter (2000) 2/5

  2008-04-02 20:00

  

  Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. This could have been great, as it is it's a bit sucky. Shame.

  0.3

• February, 2008

• Cloverfield (2008) 4/5

  2008-02-09 21:20

  

  Lots of suspense, great effects and quite fun but ultimately it's a bit disappointing.

  0.3

• December, 2007

• I Am Legend (2007) 5/5

  2007-12-28 21:30

  

  The best film of 2007. A story of loss and obsession, that shows the unerring ability of mankind to destroy itself in the name of progression. See it. Now.

  0.3

• St. Trinian's (2007) 0.5/5

  2007-12-26 16:20

  

  This was torture. Girls in stockings titillates for about five minutes, if you're fourteen, but it wears thin quickly when the plot it 'supports' is non existent. That half star is for Russell Brand.

  0.3

• Angel-A (2005) 4/5

  2007-12-26 11:30

  

  Luc Besson has crafted a touching story that has you guessing for quite a bit, before reaching a wonderful conclusion. Angel-A is shot in black and white and benefits enormously from it.

  0.3

• Blade Runner: The Definitive Cut (2007) 5/5

  2007-12-11 20:00

  

  Fucking astonishing. Astonishing! If you don't agree with that there's something gone wrong in your brain.

  0.3

List generated by WP Movie Ratings.