This time though it’s for the Travelodge chain of hotels. Have a look.

Slightly less sinister than Willem Dafoe’s ever so slightly unsettling polar bear but I’m still not certain that sinister is the way to sell things?

The guy’s a genius!

Well, they’re practically indestructible aren’t they? Well, except in Terminator: Salvation where it seems like they could be taken out with a pea shooter.

The entirely inconsistent nature of damage sustained by Terminators is – ironically – the only consistent thread between all the movies and the TV series!

In The Terminator they get torn in half by grenades yet in Terminator: Salvation they can survive multiple rounds of automatic fire to the head at point blank range and rocket launchers aimed at their chests but at the same time they’re offed alarmingly quickly by two shots to the temple – one assumes this only works if they’re pinned down under a helicopter though?

Let’s take a look at the effects of molten metal shall we?

Ok. In Terminator 2 Arnie melts himself in molten steel. At the end. A quick thumbs up, gurgle, gurgle, melty melt. Yet, yet in Terminator: Salvation we see a Terminator get covered in – what we must assume to be – molten Terminator alloy and there’s not a single bit of damage.

Sure it crusts up like Magic Shell but it isn’t long before it breaks free of its crispy coating and is on the rampage again.

They’re surely not telling us that being covered in molten alloy does no damage to Terminators at all? Logically the alloy most likely has a lower melting point than steel and – given – there wasn’t a big bath of it. It was poured all over the Terminators head though? For fuck’s sake surely there’d be some damage. Surely?

Anyway, moving on from the roll of the dice Terminator coconut shy for a moment let’s move on to the physics involved in moving a Terminator around.

They’re big. Really big. At least 6″ 2′, built like brick shit houses and judging by the momentum they seem to have they must weigh at least 500 kilos if not more.

So riddle me this: how can they sit on motorbikes and ride in jeeps without any noticeable effect on the suspension of said vehicles?

In Terminator 2 a T800 is seen zooming down flood channels on a motorbike and at one point even does some sweet jumps on said bike, but never at any point does the bike crumple under the immense weight of a Terminator with a shotgun!

Similarly in Terminator:Salvation a Terminator is seen getting in to a Jeep with a couple of kids, who’d have a combined weight of around 80 kilos – if they were soaking wet – yet the Jeep neither rocks nor sways as this hulking metal monstrosity clambers in.

How?!

Look I’m as willing as the next person to suspend belief – and c’mon Christian Bale leading the human resistance! – but there’s a line right? Right?

I know I might rail against television a lot of the time, but I do like Big Brother, it’s a study in human relations. The only thing I have a problem with is the fact that the producers do seem to be a little bit Machiavellian when it comes to picking the mentally ill.

My favourite to win probably has to be Dennis, although Mario and Lisa seem like a very nice couple and probably deserve to win.

The rest of them are a mixed bunch. Alexandra strikes me as a queen bitch, with a chip on her shoulder the size of a small family saloon, her default attitude is opposition which when combined with her natural aggression becomes a volatile combo.

Stephanie may only be nineteen, but she really has to learn to stop pouting quite so much. The world doesn’t revolve around you love.

God I need to stop watching this sort of thing, it’s rotting my brain!

As if Jackie Chan wasn’t inappropriate enough they’re now using Darth Vader to hawk toasters. Darth Vader. The Darth Vader, the one from Star Wars.

The most evil man in the universe can now be seen on television preparing beans on toast. Watch and cringe.

Has George Lucas not got enough money already? Does he really need to let the only decent thing he ever created be seen on television toasting bread with a lightsaber? Does his description of Darth Vader’s path through life fit with selling toasters?

This first trilogy is really about the father, the struggles of a father, or a man, basically, to find himself, and at the same time fall into a trap of wanting certain powers, making a pact with the devil and basically spending the rest of his life regretting it.

No. No it does not.