Crackerwax

To get the point of this post you’ll need to take a visit to What Katie Wore. It might be wise to have a little lie down in a darkened room afterwards to let your mind recover for a bit. A damp flannel might be good too.

Once you feel recovered you could try What Jonty Wore as well, which is my take on this ludicrous bullshit.

Are we ready? Good. Let’s go! continue reading »

In the words of Adam West, get a tan.

Twitter is really, really cool and I love using it but that fucking whale suspended by birdies is doing my head in.

Every single time I tweet from my laptop it’s almost guaranteed that at some point I’m going to see this picture.

What makes all of this worse of course is the serene expression on it’s face, like it couldn’t give a shit, what are they trying to say? Are they calling us oblivious whales? If they are what does that even mean?

Secondly judging by the shape of their, what can only be described as childish, drawing of the whale (let’s call him Blimpy) it’s looks like it’s supposed to be a sperm whale. Now, according to Wikipedia sperm whales are around twenty metres long, that makes those birds just shy of two meters long each. What the fuck kind of birds are they supposed to be?

Thirdly regardless of what kind of bird they are, they deserve a slap. Four of them are flying left and four of them are flying right. How’s that supposed to help exactly? At least get a grip and all fly in the same direction! Flying like that’s just going to spin Blimpy round and round, and probably make him heave planktony sick at the end of it.

Of course in their defence they can’t organise themselves because they can’t communicate properly. Like the dim witted, two metre, monstrosities they are, they’re trying to support Blimpy’s harness with their beaks! This can’t be the best way to hold on to a creature that weighs in excess of 50,000 kg, it’s surely a bit much to expect each bird to lift 6,000 kg with just their beak? A harness of sorts for each bird would make far more sense.

It’s no wonder Twitter’s down so much. If they can’t even get their outage splash page thought through a bit, what hope do we have of a reliable service?

Fair enough I can’t really see how they are able to provide the service they do gratis but even so if their goal is to some day make money from it, they need to ensure that it’s reliable. Of course I have my suspicions that they’re probably just biding their time waiting to be bought by Google.