Ladies and gentlemen I present the photos from Andy’s stag do.
It was very good of Andy to let it go ahead.
Archive for the 'People' Category
Back in 2002 I went to Asda with Kate, Shaggy and Finola.
I’d just bought a Nokia 7650, the first ever camera phone, so was hyper keen to use it. All the time.
Here are the results.
My life was that interesting.
This is really rather good.
Mixing Eric Clapton and Amy Winehouse ought to lead to some kind of horrendous abomination, funnily enough though it doesn’t! It does however highlight Ms Winehouse’s, shall we say, jazz-tuned voice.
Interesting.
Well he could have let me know, jeez. I don’t know why I bother.
Anyway happy birthday Mr Blews, in honour of the event I present you with this tune.
Every word is true. Happy birthday!
If you’re evil, like me, you’d probably find the take snapshot button in Skype too tempting not to use. I’ve said enough, the evidence will speak for itself.
Sorry.
In his memoirs John Prescott, the former deputy prime minister, claims to have suffered from bulimia during his time in the cabinet.
For those not in the know bulimia nervosa comes in two flavours purging and non-purging, Prescott’s was seemingly the purging variety.
Generally speaking people suffering from bulimia binge eat then take measures to prevent the food from being digested, either by taking laxatives or inducing vomiting.
Clearly Prescott managed to get the hang of the binge part, though possibly not the purge bit, otherwise you’d think the fat fucker would have been thinner really wouldn’t you?
Aliza Shvarts is an art student. An art student who, the Huffington Post reports, has, as part of her senior arts project plumbed new depths. Read.
Beginning next Tuesday, Shvarts will be displaying her senior art project, a documentation of a nine-month process during which she artificially inseminated herself ‘as often as possible’ while periodically taking abortifacient drugs to induce miscarriages. Her exhibition will feature video recordings of these forced miscarriages as well as preserved collections of the blood from the process.
I know I’m probably meant to be shocked by this, and I am, but it’s not the art that’s doing the shocking, it’s her disregard for life and the very womanhood she probably thinks she’s defending that shocks me.
Where does a woman’s body stop and another life start? It’s a big question and one that I could never hope to answer. Abortion is an emotive subject and rightly so but inseminating yourself in order to purposefully induce miscarriage a few months later just for shits and giggles is morally reprehensible.
I hold true the fact that a woman, just like a man, has the right to do whatever they want to their body, that right carries with it responsibility though. With this act she has treated the entire process of conception like it were a body piercing, something to be used to make a statement. It is deeply saddening.
This is not art. Neither is it self expression. It is mental illness.
Simon Smith of The Apprentice fame has been the subject of the worst hatchet job in the history of the series, after just four weeks, the only candidate I would even consider holding a conversation with, has been fired.
It stinks. He’d better not go back to installing Sky TV, that’s all I can say.
The guy has clearly got the correct attitude, he’s a doer, perhaps a little too direct at times perhaps even bullish but for Christ’s sake the people he was working along side were fucking morons. Petty, juvenile fuckwads, Sir Alan knew it and his advisors knew it but yet he still got fired. Bloody shame.
Then again I guess that’s the problem with shows like this, they’re not really intended to allow Sir Alan Sugar to find a new apprentice, they’re designed to provide ghoulish entertainment.
You have to be thick but egotistical to win The Apprentice. It’s that simple.
Oh yes, it also helps if you’re a true mangler of metaphors. Let’s here it for such gems as ‘I’ve had to breast feed you all along’, ‘throw your dummy out of the pram’, ‘stand up to the plate’ and the best yet ‘a missile that’s about to go into outer space and spontaneously combust‘. Fucking idiots.
Have you heard of Deichmann shoes? No me neither.
Nevertheless that hasn’t stopped the ever changing trio of top totty that are the Sugababes from whoring themselves advertising for them.
Unless I’m really missing something and this Deichmann bunch are a phenomenon in the shoe world, which I very much doubt given their logo and their price point, I really can’t see why the Sugababes are promoting them. The link between the Aldi of the German shoe making world and a successful British pop group eludes me.
They’d have been better using the money they spent on securing the shoe designing ‘talents’ of the Sugbabes on a good graphic designer and get rid of their aforementioned horrendous logo. I mean look at this.
What’s worse is their tag line ‘Gutes Geschäft’. Gutes Geschäft translates to something along the lines of ‘a good business’. How very literal and German that is. Makes ‘I’m Lovin’ It’ seem like poetry.
It’s weird.
Advertising is so low rent. Recently we’ve had Girls Aloud for Kit Kat which I can understand, given that they are a product in themselves but it just makes no sense to see the Sugababes selling this kind of tat.
The real question is though is what’s next? Duffy for Brantano? Rihanna for Shoe Zone?
Well I know for me that whenever I think of Woolworths the two things that immediately spring to mind are Pic ‘N’ Mix and Hong Kong action movies.
That’s why it was so nice to finally see an advert for Woolworths that features Hong Kong legend Jackie Chan. I’ve often thought that Woolworths ought to exploit its obvious links to the Hong Kong martial arts scene.
Actually if you think I’m jesting in some way, why not watch it!
How fucked up is that? What were they thinking?
Well that’s easy! He thinks he’s Vic Mackey let’s take a look at them shall we? On the left we have TV tough man Vic Mackey and on the right TV tough man Steve Wilkos. Oh, hang on, did I get that right?
Maybe I didn’t but you’d have to be fucking psychic to tell them apart, let’s look at some quotes from them shall we.
Excuse me while I get a Kleenex for the rest of this sob story.
And this beauty.
Shut up!
Well actually they’ve both probably said those things at some point but if I’m honest the first is Vic Mackey and the second is Steve Wilkos. Hell, does it even matter though?
The fact is Vic Mackey is a fictitious character played by an award winning actor, Steve Wilkos is a real person, an ex-marine, ex-cop but nonetheless a real human being who isn’t reading from a script.
After years spent mute as a security guard on the Jerry Springer Show, in 2007 young Steve managed to wangle himself a show of his own. On this show he lets loose with all the things he wanted to say during his years of enforced silence and good lord does he!
Admittedly he’s dealing with some pretty scummy people but come on, his take on it all is to shout and throw chairs! I can’t imagine that this is a modern way of dealing with wife beaters and paedophiles (his ‘guest’ of choice) surely there are better ways to do it? Perhaps get evidence and have them arrested?
Then again people quietly going to jail doesn’t make for explosive television. A massive hulk of a man throwing a chair across a stage while shouting down some inadequate in front of an audience does.
At least Vic Mackey has the grace to go after men that could quite easily have him killed.
So it would appear young Shannon Matthews wants to stay with her foster parents. Who can blame her?
Have you seen her family? Her mother, whilst claiming an age of 32, looks about 53, and has seven children by five fathers. Her step father looks like he’s staring at the world through a goldfish bowl of confusion, that is when he’s not allegedly staring at kiddie porn.
The girl had no chance.
At least now there’s some hope that she’ll be able to do something with her life.
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