Crackerwax

The Commodore 64 was an outstanding machine, its abilities were pretty amazing for the time and whilst its graphical abilities were good, they were matched by other 8-bit machines of the time. Its sound though? Well that’s another story altogether.

The Commodore 64 was home to one of the most powerful sound processors of the time; the SID.

The SID, or Sound Interface Device, was the sound controller that was used in the Commodore 64, essentially it was an analogue synth on a chip and the range of sounds it could produce were streets ahead of anything else at the time.

The guys that managed to coax the sounds from this chip are legendary in retro gaming circles, the most well known proponent of the art – Rob Hubbard – is a genius. To this day he remains practically unknown, he truly deserves more recognition for the part he played in the foundation of digital music.

Even now though the SID is still used, primarily in a MIDI sound module – the SIDStation – and the sounds it makes have been very popular with the rap and R&B communities, with numerous tracks sporting SID arpeggios.

Some producers have been less than honest though. Timbaland in particular. He infamously lifted the entire melody from the Commodore 64 arrangement of an Amiga tune; Acidjazzed Evening and used it in the Nelly Furtado song Do It.

The original composer was given no credit. The whole thing sucked.

Regardless of all that the SID’s sound remains unique and is instantly recognisable to any retro gaming fan or 8-bit afficianado.

It’s good that SID music is still being listened to, and that it’s so easy to get, regardless of the rather dishonest use of those tunes by some.

If you’ve never heard the SID belt out a tune on its own – without an overpaid half wit babbling all over it – you’ve really missed a great experience. That’s why I’ve put together my top ten favourite SID tunes for you to listen to. I’m kind like that.

Sanxion – Rob Hubbard

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Ooh! Sanxion! What a belter this is. Loading a game took ages back in the mid-eighties, so it was always good when you got a rocking piece of music like this to distract you. Mind you I didn’t think that much of Sanxion as a game, it never really did it for me. I suspect I’m in the minority there though.

Wizball – Martin Galway

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Good grief Wizball was an amazing game and it was made by the music. This is the high score theme which is lovely and mellow and would often round off a session nicely.

Its mellow and spacey all at the same time. I love it!

Cybernoid II – Jeroen Tel

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This came slightly later in the Commodore 64′s life and is altogether a bit more full on. That’s not to say it’s not great, because it is, it’s just a bit stronger.

Parallax – Martin Galway

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This piece of music comes from the part of Parallax where you’re running around the deserted cities, usually drugging scientists. It really conjured up the isolation of being in a practically empty, alien city.

Just me then?

The Last Ninja – Ben Daglish & Anthony Lees

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Every single tune in The Last Ninja was a corker. In the end I plumped for this one, no particular reason as they are all mini-masterpieces in their own right.

Tetris – Wally Beben

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The closest the Commodore 64 got to prog rock was this awesome twenty five minute epic that accompanied – in hindsight – one of the worst versions of Tetris I’ve ever played.

At the time though I seem to recall thinking that Commodore 64 Tetris was awesome. I was only thirteen mind and it was a cold winter. Nevertheless listening to this and resetting the line counter twice (it reset at 255) was my idea of a great night back then.

Hunter’s Moon – Matt Gray

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Another loading screen tune and what a stunner it is. The slow militaristic beat accompanied a brilliant loading screen and once again it really got you in the mood for the game to come, which by the way was corking.

I seem to recall it was also quite easy to cheat and rack up a whole host of extra lives because of the regenerating nature of the game world. This meant you could point your ship at an alien structure, pop a book on your fire button, zip off and have your tea, all the while safe in the knowledge you were racking up the points as the computer controlled drones went around rebuilding the scenery you were getting points for destroying! Happy days.

Quedex – Matt Gray

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Quedex, or to give it its full title; The Quest For Ultimate Dexterity! I spent about two hours failing the first level because I hadn’t read the instructions.

The only thing that kept me going was the music, my reasoning being that if the music was this good the game must be pretty special. That and the fact that it had got a Zzap! Sizzler.

Firefly – Fred Gray

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Tidy little game, nothing special but the music was ace!

Zamzara – Charles Deenen

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A scrolling Contra style affair without the delicate control that Contra afforded you. Given that it was a budget title (£2.99, bargain!) the graphics and music were amazing!

I love Amy Winehouse.

I know she’s got issues and that she a bit too keen on the drugs but hey, she’s got a fantastic musical ability and she’s as hot as you like.

Well, she was. (more…)

So after spotting an amazing offer from Matthew Gehrett for his services in theme song writing I decided to send him the requested fee.

This is the result!

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I quite like it, not sure about the battle axe malarkey but fuck it, it sounds good and not a little Scott Weilandy. So it’s fine by me.

Rage Against The Machine are the UK’s Christmas number one! Yeah get in! Fuck you Simon Cowell, fuck you, we won’t do what you tell us!

Isn’t it fantastic that a small body of people can cause such a huge upset? What hope it gives us to know that a brave cadre can march victorious, safe in the knowledge that they’ve fought the good fight. That they’ve stopped the evil record industry from winning with their fakery. That they’ve really stuck it to The Man! Isn’t it great?

In a word. No. (more…)

Given that Tony went to so much effort to create a new game — in the vein of the debut album game from last year — I felt I had to play along.

The basic gist of the game is that you compile your own list of ten songs to appear on your imaginary film soundtrack.

Being a lover of music I thought I’d give it a go, so I chose my ten songs and have complied the list here! (more…)

Lily Allen’s really dropped a bit of a bollock recently with her half formed outpourings of anguish at the prospect of losing money to the evil of illegal downloads.

Not that I want to start rambling on about the lack of any concrete statistics to support the recording industry’s notion that downloads are killing music but I would like to point out that a download does not equate to a lost sale.

There are at least three ways that this can be the case. (more…)

Is mine! The story behind it goes a bit like this.

Restless Cheese and I went to see Pearl Jam in Manchester last night, in true fashion this was just a bit of an excuse for some hard drinking, although whether or not I’d call white russians hard I’m not certain.

So as far as it goes we arrived in Manchester around half five – after a completely dry train journey – checked into our hotel and then headed off out for a bit of dinner and a couple of cheeky cocktails. Queue the Revolution!

I’m quite a fan of Revolutions – the bars, not the uprisings – they’re generally pretty cool during the day and, if you time it right, not too bad at night either.

So we mosey on in and after a brief tussle with the menu and the outrageous offers we settled on a bargaintastic two for one burger deal (or mushroom-in-a-bap for Restless Cheese), along with some top notch two for one cocktails. Nice! Revolution had clearly lined itself up for a later visit.

It was at this, post Pearl Jam, visit that the coolest thing in the world happened.

Once we arrived back in Revolution the lure of shots was irresistible, the most amazing of which is or was the porridge shot. The porridge shot is a heady mix of vodka sugar and oats, and its taste is beyond amazing. Although some people, who shall remain nameless and who are clearly big mincers, think it’s foul.

Anyway this ambrosia no longer features on Revolution’s shot menu, undeterred by this I asked the lovely Duncan (best barman in the world by the way) if he had access to a secret stash of said alcohol. After a brief furtle in the cellar he returned with a bottle containing – what can only be described as – oaty dregs.

I of course jumped at the chance to consume this most delicious drink and immediately ordered two.

After retiring to a table Restless Cheese and I drank our white russians, interspersing their consumption with a shot or two from our ‘stick’. It was on about shot three that the magic happened.

Duncan approached our table and produced an entire bottle of porridge vodka from behind his back! How much was he asking for this delicious treat? Just £10. Ten stirlings for the most delicious drink in the world?

Did I want it? Yes I did!

Did I get it? Yes I did!

What I do have to say though is that I owe a great deal of thanks to Restless Cheese, for it was on his dollar that this bottle was purchased. Thank you, you are a great friend and I can’t wait to open it to celebrate the birth of your son and heir! I don’t care if that was a drunken promise either, you’re sticking to it!

Of course if you hadn’t you’d have missed a treat.

Fucking great isn’t it?

It’s true. Today was a voyage of discovery for me that lead to my uncovering of two amazing gems.

The first is that we have Ronald Reagan to thank for GPS navigation! Well, a point of clarification perhaps, he didn’t invent it but he was responsible for allowing its use by civilians.

After a Korean Airlines flight got lost over Soviet territory and was shot down by fighter jets in 1983, it was Reagan that decided that GPS should be declassified. GPS then moved from being a military only doodad to being accessible by the general public!

Additionally in 1996 Bill Clinton authorised the phasing out of selective availability. That’s the noise that’s injected into the signal to prevent it from being too accurate.

So a combination of Clinton and Reagan has meant that I can now locate my nearest McDonalds on my iPhone without batting an eyelid.

The other amazing fact is more of an epiphany.

At the end of Mr Blue Sky by ELO I always thought the robotic voice said ‘Mr Blue Sky’. No! I was wrong!

It actually says ‘please turn me over’, how mad is that? For the past twenty years I’ve thought it said ‘Mr Blue Sky’ and now I find out it says nothing of the kind.

Thing is, I now can’t hear anything other than ‘please turn me over’ no matter how hard I try.

My life is amazing isn’t it?

In order to prove how much like ELO, LEO are I present to you one of the choice cuts from their one and only album Alpacas Orgling.

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You must agree it is a wee bit ELOish no?

Having been reminded of Yakety Sax (as made famous on the Benny Hill show) by a recent tweet, I decided to do a quick Google to see if it was available for download anywhere.

In the time it would take to slap a small bald man on the head a few times, I had discovered this gem on YouTube.

How’s that for a slice of fried gold?

From the best PlayStation 2 game ever made, Ico, comes this beautiful track Castle In The Mist.

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Whether you’re a gamer or not you should own this game. It’s actually worth buying a PlayStation 2 just to play it.

Its mixture of puzzling, platforming and action is perfect, the setting is beautiful and the gameplay is evenly balanced. Oh, yeah and the music is perfect.

I remember my first play through with Kate, it was a great joint experience, me at the controls and Kate helping me solve the puzzles. Ah, the good old days!

Across The Universe is actually a fantastic film.

The Beatles were amazingly good at what they did. And what they did was write songs that transcended all space and time and became part of the collective subconscious.

Dr Robert, as played by Bono, is more than amazing. It’s perfect.

In fact, as far as I’m concerned, Across The Universe is one of the best musicals ever. Ever.

Go buy it for a fiver. Now!

This is really rather good.

Mixing Eric Clapton and Amy Winehouse ought to lead to some kind of horrendous abomination, funnily enough though it doesn’t! It does however highlight Ms Winehouse’s, shall we say, jazz-tuned voice.

Interesting.

This is too cool for fucking school. No shit if I had £600 to drop right now, I’d be dropping it ona Tenori-On. Look at this.

That my friends is a Tenori-On, a brand new type of instrument created by two Japanese dudes, Toshio Iwai and Yu Nishibori. Its original design came about as part of Iwai’s desire to build an electronic instrument of true beauty. By jove, I think he’s got it!

If you watch this video too, you’ll see one of its cooler features.

Those two ladies’ (The Tenorions) Tenori-Ons are playing in sync, their both playing little bits and bobs on each of them and the units are tying in with each other to keep it harmonious. How cool?

I can’t believe I missed this when it came out two years ago! Isn’t the future fantastic?

Not much I can say about this, other than that I like it.

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Quite punky and Pixies-ish, no? Yeah, you knows it!

Tettix, huh? Never heard of them I’ll bet, neither had I until I watched a video of the construction of a Lego Millennium Falcon which had the track Earth’s Assault On The Central AI as a soundtrack. Since then I’ve been a fan.

Tettix used to be called Cicada but, probably because Cicada already existed, have recently changed their name. The music’s still good though, very much in the vein of the Boards Of Canada with just a splash of the NES about it.

You’ll notice I’m saying they all the time, I don’t know why, Tettix is simply one hugely talented bloke, Judson Cowan, what’s more he gives his amazing music away for free. Free!

Onto the track though, Tettix released an album of a cappella covers of his favourite music. Amongst the gems on the album was this cover of Daft Punk’s Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger, which is unusual but rather splendid at the same time.

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How awesome is that?

If you like his stuff I suggest you get over to his site and download a few of his tracks. Don’t forget to drop him a few dollars by PayPal if you like it though.

It’s been a while since I’ve played you some music, so I thought I’d treat you to a some new tracks over the next few days. I’m kind like that.

The first of these is Blind Mary from the new Gnarls Barkley album, The Odd Couple, and it’s a belter.

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Poppy, upbeat and altogether delicious. It’s a great summer song and if it’s not a single at some point I’ll be stunned.

The whole album is full of songs of that quality, out of the thirteen tracks there isn’t a single dud. Stand out tracks for me though are Charity Case, Run and Blind Mary each of which is so skilfully written and produced as to make you feel like you’ve known them for years.

If you like music you really need to buy this album!

Stay tuned, because tomorrow you’re going to experience the delights of a Daft Punk cover by Tettix. Exciting, huh?

Get yourself over to the brilliant You Have To Burn The Rope, it’s a proper treat.

It’s all about the music. All about the music…

I know that my great mate Bridz completed Portal in my presence (I may have been pissed) and no doubt he saw the amazing end song and video to ‘Still Alive’. However I did not.

As I am yet to complete Portal on my own, I had to resort to a bit of crafty Googling to find the awesome end song that is ‘Still Alive’.

Thankfully YouTube is here to save the shit gamers amongst us that have yet to complete Portal but still want to hear the amazing end song. For those of us that applies to, watch this.

Awesome isn’t it? Those gun emplacements really seem to have the song writing knack don’t they?

I just got rudely awoken, no not by the dustmen, but rather by work. Harrumph.

Well seeing as I’m awake now and can’t get back to sleep (roll on 07:30 train!) I may as well post this most excellent video by the highly talented Rhett and Link.

I think they’re friends of the wonderful iJustine, then again aren’t we all?

What happens when you get Huey from The Fun Lovin’ Criminals to interview a slightly pissed, possibly stoned, Amy Winehouse?

I’ll tell you what happens. This is what happens…

What was supposed to be here was a video of Amy Winehouse being interviewed by Huey Morgan at the 2008 Brit Awards. She came across as charming and sweet, if a little bit the worse for wear. Someone in their wisdom, possibly the Pakistan government but more probably her record label, has made YouTube remove it. Shame.

Good grief she’s sweet, admittedly I imagine she’s a complete psycho when under the influence but she’s certainly got charisma. Yes, charisma that’s it, charisma. Oh, and cracking jugs. I imagine. Frequently.

Here’s something to warm your cockles, a true Christmas classic. David Bowie goes on the Bing Crosby Christmas Special and poor old Bing has no fucking clue who he is.




Through the first few minutes of this video Bing has a look of complete bewilderment on his face. David Bowie could be his window cleaner for all he knows. The modern equivalent of this would be Bruce Forsyth and 50 Cent doing a duet of Little Donkey on Strictly Come Dancing.

Anyway after just under two minutes of stilted and deeply uncomfortable conversation we get to the song. I love it!

Bob Dylan’s seminal masterpiece from 1975, Blood On The Tracks, contains a number of astounding tracks. Actually every single track is astounding it’s just that some are more astounding than the rest.

Key amongst these tracks is Simple Twist Of Fate, a song so steeped in Dylan’s own feelings about his life and loves that it’s hard to tell where the stories end and the biography begins. Take a listen.

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The lyrics evoke such strong feelings it’s impossible not to be moved, every single sentence paints a picture so vivid you can’t help but picture the scene. Take this verse for example.

A saxophone someplace far off played
As she was walkin’ by the arcade.
As the light bust through a beat-up shade where he was wakin’ up,
She dropped a coin into the cup of a blind man at the gate
And forgot about a simple twist of fate.

Every line drips atmosphere. There is nothing I can say that would add to what already exists in the song.

A lot’s been written about Amy Winehouse over the past few months. Tales of drug abuse, beatings, alcoholism, arguments and all manner of other dreadful things. Many’s the newspaper that’s featured articles droning on about how close to dying she is and that somebody should do something about it before it’s too late.

Bollocks. Keep it up I say.

Artists since time immemorial have fought inner demons, Amy Winehouse is no exception to this. Just because she’s young, gifted and jewish doesn’t mean she can’t have a raging junk habit does it?

The problem with the modern media is that it, rather hypocritically in my eyes, moralises about drug use and how very, very bad it is. Piffle. It’s nothing new and you’re never going to stop it.

Let’s take a look at jazz and soul musicians in particular, after all this is what Winehouse models her self on, and let’s see exactly what’s happened over the decades to the various proponents of the art.

• Billie Holiday
  Well known drug addict, died of cirrhosis of the liver.
• Nina Simone
  A raging alcoholic, who once shot her neighbour’s son because his laughing disturbed her concentration.
• Charlie Parker
  Died of pneumonia and a bleeding ulcer, a death that was hastened by his drug and alcohol abuse.
• Bix Beiderbecke
  Alcoholic, drank himself to death on bootleg gin.
• Miles Davis
  Drug addict, eventually overcame it. Then died anyway.

My point is that none of this is new, artistic types have been taking drugs, drinking too much and fighting forever. The only difference now is that the public has a morbid fascination with celebrity tittle-tattle that is catered for by newspapers, television shows, magazines, websites and a host of other media. A picture of Amy Winehouse covered in blood, stumbling out of a London hotel at half three in the morning isn’t going to do any of these media outlets any harm is it?

Add to this the fact that today’s view of drug and alcohol use is much more liberal than it was even twenty years ago, it’s clear to see that the desire of the record companies and agents to cover up their star’s rampant benders just isn’t there. In fact it might even be considered to carry a little kudos with The Kids if they are seen to be living on the edge.

We need to put it into perspective, she isn’t doing anyone any harm, she might be living a life that’s a bit short on meaning but by fuck I bet it isn’t short on experience. And isn’t that what being an artist is all about; conveying your life experience to others through your art? Compare these lyrics:

For you I was a flame,
Love is a losing game
Five story fire as you came,
Love is losing game

One I wish I never played,
Oh, what a mess we made
And now the final frame,
Love is a losing game

And:

As time goes by I probably will
Meet a girl and fall in love
Then I’ll get married have a wife and a child
And they’ll be my turtle doves

But until then I’ll be a bachelor boy
And that’s the way I’ll stay
Happy to be a bachelor boy
Until my dying days

Which would you rather listen to, a young woman singing about regret at having loved and lost or a twat in a suit crooning about maybe marrying someone. Possibly. Someday. Maybe. If he could get over his Christian guilt at being gay.

I’ll leave you with this Keith Richards quote.

‘I’ve never had a problem with drugs. I’ve had problems with the police.’

Quite.

Holy shit! I’ve just listened to Ayo Technology by 50 Cent. Nothing remarkable about that in itself, however the one thing that is remarkable is that if I’m not very mistaken there’s a SID involved in that tune.

For those not in the know the SID is a chip that was used in the Commodore 64 to produce its music, it’s got a very distinctive sound that hardcore gamers or those into the retro scene would instantly recognise. It is almost certainly a SID making those noises, listen to the instrumental version yourself.

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If I’m not mistaken Timbaland produced Ayo Technology in conjunction with Danja, so presumably one of them’s either ripped the music from a C64 game or has got SidStation on the go.

If it is the case that there is a SID behind the sounds on that song, which I’m certain there is, I’m not sure how I feel about it. On one hand it vindicates my feelings on the whole SID music scene, in as much as that the mainstream can accept the sounds as part of popular music. On the other though it feels that I no longer belong to a secret little club!

Anyway I’m sure the majority of the people that listen to it won’t even notice!

Hey everyone! Another piece of music for your lugs, this time it’s something a wee bit geeky. Try this!

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That’s an acoustic interpretation of a piece of music from a game, on the long forgotten Commodore 64, called Parallax.

Parallax was a shoot ‘em up come exploration game, with you as the lone pilot out to save humanity from something or other. The original version of this tune played whenever you stepped out of your little spaceship for a wander about. The wandering about bit was almost as much fun as the spaceship bit, in fact it was more fun because you got to drug scientists!

It was written by Sensible Software who later went on to write Wizball, which is one the best games ever in my opinion.

Of course, as per, I digress. The music conveyed perfectly the feeling of isolation inherent in being alone on an alien planet (well, apart from drugged up scientists) and this cover just accentuates the whole lone vibe. Lovely.

Whilst out on the stag do Andy reminded me of the song Convoy. Have a listen.

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It was a bit of a hit back in 1975 and in a hokey kind of way it fucking rocks. It even lead to a movie starring Kris Kristofferson that was directed by Sam Peckinpah! Not bad for a one hit wonder, huh?