Archive for the 'Love' Category

Segways Rock!

For those not in the know a Segway can be best described as being the horse-less carriage version of the chariots they round around in, in Ben Hur. It sounds freaky but it’s great fun, I suggest you try one at the first opportunity.

Sadly I didn’t manage to get a picture of myself on one, scooting around Bermuda on our Segway tour but let me tell you I want one.

Just thought you’d like to know.

Michiru Oshima - Castle In The Mist

From the best PlayStation 2 game ever made, Ico, comes this beautiful track Castle In The Mist.

Whether you’re a gamer or not you should own this game. It’s actually worth buying a PlayStation 2 just to play it.

Its mixture of puzzling, platforming and action is perfect, the setting is beautiful and the gameplay is evenly balanced. Oh, yeah and the music is perfect.

I remember my first play through with Kate, it was a great joint experience, me at the controls and Kate helping me solve the puzzles. Ah, the good old days!

Coffee Republic’s Jammie Dodger Milkshake

Picture the scene it’s a Thursday, you’re going into work, you’ve got a long day ahead of you, you don’t expect to be home until at least 22:30.

You see a Coffee Republic!

You see they do this.

Jammie Dodger thick shake!

You realise that your favourite biscuit is now a drink. You go mad!

That my friends is a Jammie Dodger thick-shake. Oh, yes. How fucking cool is that!

They even garnish it with another Jammie Dodger. Rest assured I will be trying their other flavours soon.

Dylan Thomas - And Death Shall Have No Dominion

Dylan Thomas, what a guy.

And death shall have no dominion.
Dead men naked they shall be one
With the man in the wind and the west moon;
When their bones are picked clean and the clean bones gone,
They shall have stars at elbow and foot;
Though they go mad they shall be sane,
Though they sink through the sea they shall rise again;
Though lovers be lost love shall not;
And death shall have no dominion.

And death shall have no dominion.
Under the windings of the sea
They lying long shall not die windily;
Twisting on racks when sinews give way,
Strapped to a wheel, yet they shall not break;
Faith in their hands shall snap in two,
And the unicorn evils run them through;
Split all ends up they shan’t crack;
And death shall have no dominion.

And death shall have no dominion.
No more may gulls cry at their ears
Or waves break loud on the seashores;
Where blew a flower may a flower no more
Lift its head to the blows of the rain;
Though they be mad and dead as nails,
Heads of the characters hammer through daisies;
Break in the sun till the sun breaks down,
And death shall have no dominion.

Enough said.

Arthur C Clarke Is Dead

Arthur C Clarke has died today, aged 90.

Most famous for the wonderful 2001: A Space Odyssey, which he created with his friend Stanley Kubrick, Clarke was a science fiction writer without compare.

He gave us so much more though, for starters the principles behind geo-stationery satellites were one of his works. In case you’re not familiar with the premise, it is essentially what allows things like Sky television to work. I suppose for some people, that might make him a bit of a villain!

His books are uniformly stunning, crammed full of amazing ideas and are written with a style that belies their geekiness.

He shall be missed.

Still Alive

I know that my great mate Bridz completed Portal in my presence (I may have been pissed) and no doubt he saw the amazing end song and video to ‘Still Alive’. However I did not.

As I am yet to complete Portal on my own, I had to resort to a bit of crafty Googling to find the awesome end song that is ‘Still Alive’.

Thankfully YouTube is here to save the shit gamers amongst us that have yet to complete Portal but still want to hear the amazing end song. For those of us that applies to, watch this.

Awesome isn’t it? Those gun emplacements really seem to have the song writing knack don’t they?

Blade Runner At The Cinema. The Verdict

It’s amazing the difference a large screen makes to a movie, the amount of extra detail I saw last night was astounding.

For example I didn’t know Roy Batty had tattoos, yet there they were all over his left shoulder plain as day! It wasn’t only the little things though, some of the big stuff was given a new lease of life as well.

The opening sequence in particular was very much enhanced by the feeling of scale afforded by the big screen, even the opening crawl felt more exciting!

All in all Blade Runner will always be a great movie, seeing it in a cinema just makes for a better experience.

Now all I have to do is convince The Wife to shell out for a 1080p projector!

Amy Winehouse, I Love You!

What happens when you get Huey from The Fun Lovin’ Criminals to interview a slightly pissed, possibly stoned, Amy Winehouse?

I’ll tell you what happens. This is what happens…

What was supposed to be here was a video of Amy Winehouse being interviewed by Huey Morgan at the 2008 Brit Awards. She came across as charming and sweet, if a little bit the worse for wear. Someone in their wisdom, possibly the Pakistan government but more probably her record label, has made YouTube remove it. Shame.

Good grief she’s sweet, admittedly I imagine she’s a complete psycho when under the influence but she’s certainly got charisma. Yes, charisma that’s it, charisma. Oh, and cracking jugs. I imagine. Frequently.

I Don’t Want To Go Out Like Gram Did

Gram Parsons’ friends took his body into Joshua Tree National Park, filled his coffin with five gallons of petrol (or indeed gasoline, yeehaw) and struck a match to it. Suffice it to say this process did not leave them with a lovely little urn of ashes. No sir. It left them with smoldering bits of charred corpse hanging off yuccas.

Now, I love the idea of my friends carrying out my final wishes, as Gram’s were sort of, but please for the love of Christ get it right people. Plan it a bit.

I don’t want bits of my, undoubtedly good looking, corpse left in smoking lumps in some fuzzy tree desert. I want a fireball you can see from space. Well actually I don’t want that at all, I’d rather have my body chopped up and amusing things done with it.

Chop my fingers off and use them to scam Heinz, claiming that you found them in tins of pea and ham, leave my head in the freezers at Asda to freak out pensioners. Go on go wild, I won’t mind. Hell, I’ll be dead.

Whatever you do though, don’t mourn.

Actually no, I’ve changed my mind again I want the following.

  • My main wake whilst I’m still alive. It’s my party too.
  • To be cremated. The one time in my life I won’t complain about it being hot.
  • Have this played when my coffin comes in.
  • Have this played as the coffin gets consumed by the flames (clichéd but good).
  • Have this played when everyone’s leaving.
  • A mini wake after where everyone dresses in black, watches The Sweeney and gets utterly hammered.

I suppose it might be a bit morbid but fuck it, it’s what I want so no arguments, OK?

Jeff Minter: Futurist

As a callow youth I used to read Commodore Computing International. It was a very serious magazine, not at all like Zzap64!, although it did have one thing that Zzap didn’t and that was a regular column written by Jeff Minter.

As a rule I’m not a big fan of Jeff Minter’s games, but I am huge fan of his style. Living in Wales, eating curry, loving the ungulates, wandering around in the rain, going to the pub, I think you get the picture.

Anyway back in the March 1988 issue of Commodore Computing International, Jeff wrote an article set in the far away year of 2001 that filled we with tingly feelings about the future, so like the geek I am I’ve scanned it in for you all to read.

Jeff Minter finds tea - the drink not the smoke - mind blowing stuff, discovering fantasies of strange futures for Commodore, Atari and even HAL from 2001. What will he think of next a computer called PG?

Quarter to two in the middle of a windy Welsh night, and I have decided to leave off writing the internal-sequencer module for ‘Space II and bring you this. The Bug Which Prints Zeros Forever will just have to wait until tomorrow morning. Right now, I have just assuaged the raving dreaded Munchies with a sarnie followed by one-third of a cream-and-jam pie, and I’m just washing the lot down with a really good cup of tea. Tea. Wonderous substance.

All that is strictly beside the point, however. What I’m going to waffle about this month stems from some thinking I’ve been doing, and something I’ve been reading, too. The reading was an article about Alan Kay, the guy from Xerox who went on to Apple and there worked on the Lisa and Mac interface, you know, the pointers-and-windows stuff we all have nowadays even on the humble ‘64. It seems they had a lot of that stuff running at Xerox, back in the ‘Sixties for God’s sake, on flight-sim hardware! And here’s us thinking that Intuition’s such a brilliant hack, and how come nobody ever thought of doing it that way before - and all the groundwork was done 20 years ago! After reading that article, the thinking ensued - I fell to thinking: what have they got in the labs now? What’s cooking in the Apple labs where they’re using a flipping Cray to design the next generation of user interface?? And what would it be like to have a computer with such an interface? So I came up with the following spoof review - of a personal computer system you might buy to kick off the new millennium with - and I thought I’d lay it on you this month, instead of the usual 68000-worship…

Extract from Your Supercomputer magazine, 21/12/2001
EXCLUSIVE: PREVIEW of the Atari ‘Discovery’ computer system!..

We have been fortunate enough to be invited to the headquarters of Atari where we were shown the new Atari ‘Discovery’ machine, which should be released this month. Atari have been working on this machine since the early ‘Nineties, and now that superconducting chips and ‘processor memory’ (the logical development from the Transputer systems of late last millennium - ALL memory within a ProcMem-based system is capable of performing a variety of processing functions upon whatever it contains) are available, the design has come out of the labs at Atari and onto the streets. Well, we think Atari are going to freak a LOT of people right out with this new machine. Here’s what we saw…

(Your Supercomputer hack, Zippy the Chiphead, takes over the story)..

I got to Atari not quite knowing what to expect. Atari have been very quiet since they bought Commodore several years ago, and despite evidence of some activity in their research labs little has been known of what they were working on. After admiring the quaint little display of antique STs in the entrance lobby (did we ever really put up with pixies so large you could actually see them one atatime?)Iwas ushered into a large, comfortable room in which there appeared to be just a large desk and one of those amazing hydraulic chairs which look like they belong on the Star Ship Enterprise. No monitors, no disk drives, not even a fan. After a certain amount of confusion, I was assured that the desk was, in fact, the Atari Discovery computer.

At first sight the computer appears to be a large, black monolith, perhaps six inches thick, mounted on suitably high-tec legs. On sitting down to the machine you find that the whole surface can be tilted so as to be at a comfortable angle for the user. Of course, I sat down at the machine and felt a little foolish, I kept looking for the mouse and not finding one! I reached out a hand to touch the surface of the monolith, and got my first surprise: the Atari logo appeared in the middle of the smooth black surface. It looked just as if it were painted on, except for the fact that it was doing the most amazing colour-cycling. The image was startling to a computer user used to looking at monitors - even the highest- quality monitor cannot render graphics which look like they were printed images. This was my first encounter with Atari’s new display technology - the ‘screen’ is composed of millions of tiny beads which change their colour according to what image is being displayed. The beads are opaque, and if viewed by ambient light, it appears that the surface of the monolith just changes colour. It doesn’t shine, like a monitor, because unless you turn on the backlighting if it’s really dark, the colours you see come from reflected ambient light just like they would for a piece of paper. The effect is uncanny.

On the Discovery, the whole upper surface of the monolith functions as both screen and interface to the computer. When you rest your hands upon the surface of the machine, it comes to life: after the Atari logo has been displayed the monolith changes into what appears to be a fine wooden table with a couple of bits of paper lying on it. (Atari assure me that the user can configure the default desk surface to be whatever he likes, so if you favour cracked Formica instead of walnut veneer, you can have it). The surface of the monolith feels faintly resilient: in fact it is a highly-accurate touch-sensitive surface capable of distinguishing between the lightest touch and the heaviest pressure. Operating the system is totally instinctive, as I found out: just reach for one of the pieces of paper and drag it towards you, and that’s exactly what happens. You can do anything you could do with a normal piece of paper: turn it around a little so as to get a better view, slide it over or under another piece (depending on how hard you press as you slide) . . . of course you can’t make a paper aeroplane out of it, the screen is still only two-dimensional! Examining the paper, I found that it was headed, in a neat hand-written script, ‘Atari HAL operating system Version 0.9’. (The script is again user-configurable, so if you’re into Epson Dot-Matrix circa 1984 on some kind of nostalgia trip you’ll get your way).

Underneath the main heading was a list of sub-headings; running a finger down the list highlighted each in turn and - a neat touch this - increasing pressure of the finger on an item caused the whole surface of the desktop to ‘zoom in’ on the selected area. Very useful for reading the small print. Tapping an item in the list results in another piece of paper being spawned - the paper and desktop look so real that seeing another piece peel itself off is quite startling a-d weird. I generated a sheet headed ‘Demos’ from the parent sheet, and received a written list of the available demos on the system. Simultaneously, a variety of familiar objects appeared on the desktop: a pen, a paintbrush, a globe (spinning, too)
These objects can be grabbed, moved around, and tapped on in order to get them to work. There isn’t enough space here to fully describe all the demos; the highlights included such things as a WP package upon which you could write with a finger, or by ‘typing’ on a representation of a keyboard painted on the desktop, or by using an empty fountain pen upon the surface of the ‘paper’ on the desktop. There was an art package which was operated by using real paintbrushes on the desktop surface - the surface can detect even minute changes of pressure - proper painting, but with all the advantages of computer graphics.

I liked the Lightsynth program from T.E.A. (a new software company calling themselves True Electronic Art) upon which some remarkable effects are possible by using both hands and that remarkable pressure-sensitive surface. Perhaps the most fascinating program was World, a logical extension from the flight-simulator: linked to a large database of world coordinates, the user can ‘fly’ to any point on Earth at any speed and view the surroundings at any scale; of course a lot of fine detail is lost as even with gigabytes of core you cannot digitise every point on the planet, but advanced fractal techniques are used to generate detail. I went to Machu Picchu in the World simulator and found the fractal rendering of the rough Inca stonework to be quite convincing. At the moment World is empty, but the designers promise an update featuring animals and plant growth next year. The company producing World, Dave Bowman Associates, tell us that there will be a companion program, provisionally entitled God, which will allow the end-user to create new planets to explore using World. Generating a convincing planet should be possible in about a week using the new software.

I can only mention a few of the remarkable demos in my limited space here; expect proper reviews in later issues. After my ‘hands-on’ with the Discovery, I talked with the Atari bosses about marketing and pricing of the new machine. Amazingly, the whole system will only cost you #.

Extract ends, ‘Your Supercomputer’ magazine, 21/12/2001

Who knows?

Anything can happen.

Well, I think I’ll just print this out and shamble off to make myself another cup of tea. Tea. Remarkable substance….

I can’t begin to tell you how cool that was to me when I was thirteen.

Bob Dylan - Simple Twist Of Fate

Bob Dylan’s seminal masterpiece from 1975, Blood On The Tracks, contains a number of astounding tracks. Actually every single track is astounding it’s just that some are more astounding than the rest.

Key amongst these tracks is Simple Twist Of Fate, a song so steeped in Dylan’s own feelings about his life and loves that it’s hard to tell where the stories end and the biography begins. Take a listen.

The lyrics evoke such strong feelings it’s impossible not to be moved, every single sentence paints a picture so vivid you can’t help but picture the scene. Take this verse for example.

A saxophone someplace far off played
As she was walkin’ by the arcade.
As the light bust through a beat-up shade where he was wakin’ up,
She dropped a coin into the cup of a blind man at the gate
And forgot about a simple twist of fate.

Every line drips atmosphere. There is nothing I can say that would add to what already exists in the song.

Spike Milligan

I’m not going to go into how great a comedian Spike Milligan was because as good a comedian as he was, he was a better poet. Try this light hearted stuff for size.

I thought I saw Jesus on a tram.
I said, Are you Jesus?
He said, Yes. I am.

Although probably most famous for his light hearted nonsense poetry, most of it a lot more nonsensical than that one, he did do a great deal of serious stuff.

Suffering from depression all of his life, Milligan suffered from several major mental breakdowns and often locked himself away from the rest of the world and refused to communicate with anyone. Of his depression he said:

It’s the nature of who you are. You will see sunsets in a special way, you will see life in a special way.

I very much agree with him on this. Depression to me is the flip side of intelligence, the power to think turning itself inside out, like a mirror reflecting another mirror, on and on to infinity. As sad as it is I’d rather be a depressive than go through life in an unthinking daze.

Back to Spike though, and one of his finest pieces.

Strange lovers may caress you
But once, long ago
You were mine forever.
So should I reach into that past
And touch you with invisible fingers
Don’t move away.

Beautiful.