Isn’t it fantastic that a small body of people can cause such a huge upset? What hope it gives us to know that a brave cadre can march victorious, safe in the knowledge that they’ve fought the good fight. That they’ve stopped the evil record industry from winning with their fakery. That they’ve really stuck it to The Man! Isn’t it great?

In a word. No.

Rage Against The Machine and Joe McElderry are both signed to Sony. Sorry to burst your bubble folks but all you’ve managed to do is give The Man a little bit more money.

So you see the whole premise is flawed. This, ahem, battle has only served to earn Sony £197,000 for doing absolutely nothing.

It’s not caused an upset! To have had it cause an upset, Sony would have had to care about Joe getting a number one in the first place and if you think for one minute that anyone within the recording industry actually gives a shit about Joe then you’re deluded.

All of this nonsense was only ever going to work in the recording industry’s favour, they don’t give two shits about Joe or his number two hit.

Right now he’s a money machine, they’ll wring him for every penny for his alloted year of fame, then they’ll bin him. If he doesn’t make them enough money quickly enough then they’ll bin him early. Only if he’s very successful will they keep him and let him make any real money.

Sorry Joe but you’re salaried son and when the day comes that your popularity wanes – May 2010 is my guess by the way – they’ll make you redundant. Not even Cheryl Cole and her northern solidarity shtick will be able to save you then.

Back to the good fight though.

I’ve heard it said that it doesn’t matter that Sony have made loads of money off all this silliness because Rage Against The Machine have donated all their proceeds to Shelter.

Wow! That’s got to be a good thing, right?

Not really no, it’s only their proceeds and you’re probably only talking about a few thousand pounds. It’s the label that makes the big money and I don’t think Sony will be all that keen on giving up a penny of their windfall bonus.

Besides if all these idiots were so concerned about Shelter and the homeless they shouldn’t have bought Killing In The Name in the first place, they should just have donated their 79p straight to Shelter.

Shelter would now have had £395,000 in the bank if they’d done that.

Better yet they could all just get off their fat arses and offer to help out at the nearest homeless shelter over Christmas. There are many ways to help out the homeless, sadly buying an MP3 is not at the top of that list.

At the end of it all, after the self congratulatory horse shit is over, who really cares who’s number one? Really, who? Does it make any difference in the world, no. Does it make anyone’s life better, no.

All these pompous overblown fuckwits have done is shown how monumentally stupid, self centred and pointless they are.

Well done to them all.

However they have a place in the world and without them we’d be pretty fucked, that much is true. If we want to change the banking system we need to make sure it’s equitable and fair, with no ridiculous APRs (60% anyone?) and no ludicrous charging models (£25 per infraction, come on!).

What we don’t need to do is smash up a bank in Threadneedle Street under the misguided illusion that it’s political activism, it’s not you stupid bitch it’s criminal damage.

That’s not really the way to get the message across is it? People see smashed glass and broken bits of computer and immediately you’ve lost all credibility. It might be that you have any number of amazing points to make about the banking system and how it should be changed but because of what you’ve just done you’re just another lout.

That’s part of the problem though isn’t it? How do you get your message across? Where is the forum for debate?

Well of course there isn’t one. So you get rebellious teenage girls, who’re under some illusion that they’re the bastard love child of Che Guevara and Jeanne d’Arc, smashing up banks.

Saddest part of it is is that she’s being misled by a group of people (the people she more than likely shares her Brighton squat/commune/double decker bus on bricks with) who have as much of an agenda as the bankers and politicians she despises. She’s as much a pawn in their game as she is The Man’s.

Silly girl.

The intelligent amongst you will realise what I mean by that I’m sure.

So without further ado, watch this…

Find more videos like this on The Spill.com Movie Community

Anybody confused as to my thoughts on the way I want the US elections to go?

Good.

By the way, SpillCrew rock. Nuff said.

Before we get ahead of ourselves, when I say scooting up and down the country in a jet I don’t want anyone picturing Led Zeppelin groupie molestation style craziness or any fighter pilot nonsense.

No, no. I mean getting on a flight at the crack of dawn with other earnest young business men to fly to Edinburgh and then getting back on the reverse flight later that day.

Nothing even vaguely cool. Regardless though it’s not the jet bit that’s of interest, it’s the airports.

When Obi-Wan Kenobi (you might know him as old Ben) says: ‘Mos Eisley spaceport. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.’, he’d clearly never been to East Midlands Airport at five in the morning.

Fuck me! I’ve never seen such a bedraggled bunch of scummy, fake Louis Vuitton toting, Crocs wearing, inbred half wits.

Every single one of them off to the sun to get shit faced, shag other equally unattractive bottom feeders and return home crawling with STDs, happy that they’d had a splendid time.

I’ll say it again because it bears repeating, it was five in the morning. Five in the morning and I saw people drinking Guinness.

I counted three hen parties and two stag do’s. I’m sure there were countless others it was just that I couldn’t help but notice the stag do’s because of their ‘Boys On Tour’ rugby shirts and the hens thanks to their ever so tasteful penis shaped deely-boppers.

There was also a birthday party flying out to Malaga. They were lovely. Over the strains of Metallica’s latest opus I discovered that Angela was ‘shagging her man’s best friend’, that her sister thought (in a sing song voice) she was going to get caught out and that ‘her Mam had give her £150′.

Remember that I heard this over the Metallica that was playing through my headphones. I could hear these people discuss their private lives over the sound of heavy metal. Classy.

What does it say about society that when I was called to board at 06:40 I had to ask people to excuse me to get through the queue for the bar?

Good grief, I like a drink but who in their right mind wants to drink Heineken for breakfast?

I’ve been reminded by a couple of things today, that in the event of an emergency it won’t be any of my actions that will cause me to die, it’ll be other people. I’ll tell you for why.

At 16:30 today we had the mandatory ship evacuation drill. There were three rules.

1. Keep right at all times.
2. Go to the muster station printed on your life jacket.
3. Don’t put your life jacket on

Fairly straight forward, no?

Still, what did about 50% of these chunky, brain dead bastards manage to do?

That’s right, scramble about the corridors in any old fashion headed for the first muster station they saw, with their life jackets on.

For fuck’s sake people it’s not difficult, just follow the instructions, they were clear enough.

I fear for my safety in the event of a proper evacuation, everyone of these bloody idiots will panic and start waving their flabby arms around and the whole system will fall apart.

God help us all.

It was heartening then, when I saw this amazing poster linked in Digg.

So it is an epidemic!