Being the type of sucker that enjoys this sort of thing I went along and had a go. Anyway to cut a boring story short, here’s what I got, by the way you should read the rules before you look at all this otherwise it’ll mean fuck all!
After reading a bit about Arthur C Clarke on the rather cool Mental_Floss, I was reminded of his three laws.
They’re clearly a little bit tongue in cheek but you can see that they do make a lot of sense too.
When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong.
The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
He was quite a guy I tell thee.
Of course I have my own three laws, come on, you knew I would.
Never wash red socks. Ever. It only leads to pink clothes.
Fixing electrical appliances whilst drunk is not a good idea.
Whenever someone says they don’t care they do. When they say they do care they might not.
I just got rudely awoken, no not by the dustmen, but rather by work. Harrumph.
Well seeing as I’m awake now and can’t get back to sleep (roll on 07:30 train!) I may as well post this most excellent video by the highly talented Rhett and Link.
I think they’re friends of the wonderful iJustine, then again aren’t we all?
So, there I was watching Corrie with The Wife when all of a sudden I heard an expletive!
No shit, a straight up, honest to goodness swear word. What’s more it was the number two rude swear word. That’s right it was ‘fuck’!
It happened at the end of a scene with Carla Connor and Sean Tully. Amy Winehouse was playing in the background, the song was Tears Dry On Their Own and you could quite clearly hear the following two lines albeit with a lot of reverb:
I should just be my own best friend
Not fuck myself in the head with stupid men
Holy shit!
What’s more this isn’t the first time they’ve craftily snuck in a choice phrase or two. Before now I’ve heard ‘clown’s pocket‘ and ‘half rice, half chips‘ used with straight faces, and they’re both pretty colourful euphemisms as any Viz reader will know!
The script writers on that show are a right crafty bunch of dodge pots! Keep your eyes open, they can’t be trusted.
My post the other day about the anti-piracy ads on DVDs reminded me of this spot on piece from the IT Crowd.
That’s about the size of it really isn’t it? These overblown pieces of propaganda are obscene, why should I automatically be labeled a potential movie thief for buying a DVD?
Whenever I buy a magazine, which at £4 for Sci-Fi Now is the same price as most of the DVDs I buy, I’m not forced to watch a mini documentary with a voice over warning me that photocopying is a crime, do I?
Listen to this, it’s a work of genius by a guy called Robin Galloway a DJ up in Scotland, the character is Hector Brocklebank owner (and driver for) H B Fish, or in the vernacular fash.
So, without further ado, ladies and gentlemen may I introduce you to Hector Brocklebank.
Here’s something to warm your cockles, a true Christmas classic. David Bowie goes on the Bing Crosby Christmas Special and poor old Bing has no fucking clue who he is.
Through the first few minutes of this video Bing has a look of complete bewilderment on his face. David Bowie could be his window cleaner for all he knows. The modern equivalent of this would be Bruce Forsyth and 50 Cent doing a duet of Little Donkey on Strictly Come Dancing.
Anyway after just under two minutes of stilted and deeply uncomfortable conversation we get to the song. I love it!
I think Jobewan may have lost the plot. As you are probably aware I am very keen on ranting about things, you know the sort of thing; Doctor Who is a great idea that’s being bummed to death by untalented hacks writing piss poor stories based on other people’s ideas, that then have shit new aliens or old, overused and outdated aliens shoe horned into them before all being wrapped up in some of the worst special effects known to mankind, etc. etc.
Passages of particular note are the parts where she calls for zombies to burn down fast food outlets, hopes that Ronald McDonald catches syphilis (though from who we’re not sure), wishes Colonel Sanders would die of mercury poisining and imagines councilors fingers transmogrifying into gherkins!
It truly is a roller coaster ride of a rant, I suggest you check it out forthwith.
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