Why The Fuck Is Katie Wearing That?
To get the point of this post you’ll need to take a visit to What Katie Wore. It might be wise to have a little lie down in a darkened room afterwards to let your mind recover for a bit. A damp flannel might be good too.
Once you feel recovered you could try What Jonty Wore as well, which is my take on this ludicrous bullshit.
Are we ready? Good. Let’s go!
Now I’m all for individualism and uniqueness but for the love of fuck what is this girl supposed to be? We’ve had micro-cassette rings, Jammie Dodger brooches and colour combinations that could cause seizures. All in the name of, ahem, fashion.
It’s not until six photos in that you realise Katie has legs and a waist, her favourite combos up until that point consist of acres of ballooning cloth in a variety of mind fucking patterns and retina melting primary colours.
Why would you choose to dress like that?
Then again I’m not entirely sure what it is that Katie actually does – she does go to important meetings though – although we can surmise that Joe is in new media or advertising or some such, what with the important pitches for clients he seems to be doing all the time.
What Katie does though remains a bit of a mystery. She’s clearly not working in Aldi, nor is she in banking my best guess is that she is a designer. Ahem.
It’s almost a certainty that Katie and Joe:
- Live in Shoreditch in an horrendously expensive flat
- Have at least one friend with a ridiculous name
- Have at least one friend with a surname for a forename
- Are in a social circle will be made up of graphic designers, artists and fashion students
- Watch TV on a 13″ black and white portable
- Use the term ‘retro’ to describe their favourite things (see above)
- Have friends who are faux-homosexuals
- Like bands that I have never, will never, hear
- Would be beaten to death if they strayed out of the five square blocks that they call London
- Rely heavily on irony as a get out of jail card when found doing something The Straights would do
The greater proportion of their clique will be parentally funded. The artists will all be working on something amazing and mind-blowing. This will inevitably be produced on hideously expensive equipment and is likely to be massively derivative. Tracy Emin will be mentioned.
When I was young I dressed like a complete twat. When I say young I mean fifteen. Not twenty five.
Of course, you see, the bohemian freedom to dress like a Technicolor bag lady can only really be afforded to the alleged creatives in society. The rest of us have to dress like drones Monday to Friday in order to keep our heads below the parapet.
Just take a look at some of these horrendous posts, if the titles don’t make you want to punch someone then the photos almost certainly will.
- Taken When Katie Worked On A Saturday
- Taken At St. John And St. Elizabeth Hospital
- Taken On National Lulu Day
- Taken When We Said Goodbye To Christopher
You’re only jealous you may cry and if you did you’d be damn right. That someone with such a ridiculous USP can get space in newspapers and magazines the length of the country infuriates me.
There is no entertainment to be had in this, there’s nothing interesting being said, there’s no message or inherent beauty in what’s being said. In fact the only thing I can see being said is look at me. In block capitals. Flashing block capitals.
That is why I went to the effort of creating What Jonty Wore, I can’t stand pretentious, contrived bullshit.
Comments
Jesus, there are really people like that?!
Absolutely fan-fucking-tastic. I’ve been sneering at that blog for weeks while everyone wanks over it. It is truly a case of the emperors new clothes!
shame she’s not wearing more of those ballooning flowery tents over her head.
Nothing screams ‘LOOK AT ME’ more than an angry person creating a blog to slag off people who are happy and having a good time. It’s so boring.
Actually Katie works for a global advertising agency and she is charming, sweet and intelligent – unlike your good self
Thanks for the comments Gary, it’s always nice to hear from people.
Katie works for a global advertising agency? Wow! No way? Really? I would have thought with outfits like those that she’d have worked for KPMG or MI5!
On a serious note I have no doubt she is charming, sweet and intelligent, in fact I have never suggested anything to the contrary. All I suggested was that what she was doing was contrived bullshit. I stand by that.
A question for you though. Do you honestly believe that wearing the casing from an old radio, around your neck, on a chain is in some way clever? Really?
By the way is Poo your nickname?
But it just seems like an awful lot of effort to take to be pretty nasty to someone you’ve never met and who (I assume) has never done anything to upset you and who seems like a rather genuine and nice individual.
I think you should probably take down your Jonty site and this post.
And, hold on, the power of twitter would suggest that your own girlfriend / wife has her own clothes blog!! And it’s shocking.
http://www.libacious.com/
And, while I’m not particularly sure about some of the clothes, at least Katie is pretty. Yours REALLY isn’t much to look at. How would you feel if someone set up a blog to purposefully make fun of Libby, her derivative writing and huge arms?
Thanks for the comment David, always appreciated.
Before we go any further though I want to get something straight, you think that I should take down What Jonty Wore and this post because you disagree with their content?
If that is the case, then I’m dreadfully sorry to disappoint you David but it’s just not going to happen.
You see What Katie Wore is a hugely successful and popular site. Good Lord it’s appeared in Grazia, The Independent, Style, The Daily Telegraph, The Guardian, The Times, ASOS, Marketing, Company, My, NMA, The Scotsman, The Sunday Mail, The Herald, Marie Claire, UMagazine, Kodin, Psychologies, The Observer and The Daily!
Given all that support I’m rather astonished that What Katie Wore needs the type of support it’s being given by you, surely it survives on its own merits, isn’t on its last legs and has no need for your rallying round? Then again I could – as you wouldn’t be surprised to hear – be wrong.
I don’t recall ever casting aspersions on Katie’s looks? Just the clothes, it’s the pretension and the clothes here Dave not her looks. Although when you were trying to have a go at me by attacking Libby, the bit about ‘big arms’? That’s just brilliant, I don’t know where it came from but it’s still brilliant and shows how special you are, in your own little way.
You think Libacious is shocking? That’s fine because, like me, you have the freedom to say what you want about anything. Do you see how this works yet? You can say what you want to me and I can say what I want about What Katie Wore.
No one needs to get angry. Well, I don’t.
One thing I am glad to hear is that you’re not particularly sure about the clothes on What Katie Wore because and let’s be honest here, they’re pretty astonishing aren’t they!
The part of your comment that does confuse and worry me a little however, is the bit where you say:
I’m puzzled by this, my what? Site? This is all I can think you mean because you surely wouldn’t be as backwards as to suggest, with the use of ‘yours’, that Libby is my personal property in some way? If that is your intention then you’ve got bigger problems to worry about than What Katie Wore!
Again though Dave thanks for the comment.
Oh no. I just checked back in and it looks like big old “Libacious” has taken down her big old shit blog.
http://www.libacious.com/
I hope it wasn’t anything I said. After all, I was just expressing my opinion. You know, like I’m totally entitled to do. I’d hate to think that because I’d called her arms fat and suggested her writing was derivative. that she’d decided to call it a day. You should explain to her that people on the internet are allowed to have opinions about other people on the internet.
Hello again David!
You are an angry one aren’t you! We could go on with this for the rest of time couldn’t we? Don’t worry about Libacious’ site it’ll be up again soon.
Sadly you’re flattering yourself a little if you think it’s down because of you.
One thing we really like about your little notes to us though is your creative use of email addresses! They’ve made us chuckle quite a bit! The first:
david.p@youshouldprobablystopwriting.com
Is brilliant! You should register that domain and do something with it. Use some of that negative energy Dave, don’t let it go to waste!
The second, isn’t really quite that clever, it’s a little juvenile but we do see what you were trying to do with it:
sosad@aboutyourmassivebird.com
You seem to have quite a bee in your bonnet about fat women? Have you got size issues? When you look in the mirror do you see a fat person? You can get help.
Anyway, once again it’s been lovely, Libacious sends her best wishes and has offered to give you a big old cuddle with her chunky arms anytime you want, she could even come to London if you like? That is if she could get her big fat arse on the train!
Speak soon!
“I do not agree with what you have to say, but I’ll defend to the death your right to say it.”
Jon
Glad to find someone else who sympathises with the unrivaled rage that “whatkatiewore” brings into my life. And your intelligent and calm responses to David up there made my day!
Keep it up! (and I’m loving what jonty wore)
Aww, this has proper cheered me up. Keep it up Jonty.
David, thank you for all you said and Jon, you need to get out more if What Katie Wore gets you so pissy. Find a cause and do something worthwhile instead of hating on something that makes people happy. Does what you are doing bring joy to people’s lives? I think not.
Hi Jon
You seem to be jumping to some very large conclusions here – you’re predicting their entire lifestyle by what Katie wears?!
seems a bit off…
I found this post funny, so I’m guessing it was written in the name of comedy ’cause I can’t believe you’d go to all the trouble of writing a hate blog on someone (I assume) you’ve never met and (I assume) you never will meet just because you don’t like her clothes…
Just stumbled across this while idly googling to see if anybody else thinks What Katie Wore is as vapid as I do.
For anybody who thinks that WKW brings pleasure to millions of people every day… well, actually it’s just designed to fuel the sort of lifestyle envy that encourages the chumps who read it to buy the tat being advertised.
But what else should anybody expect? Katie and Joe sell shit, to cunts, for a living. Fair play to them for making money out of the sort of people silly enough to pore over their every move/mood/look.
I also Googled to see if anyone shared my hatred for What Katie Wore. Shit photography, wank clothes, ugly model, self indulgent pile of shit. Any grown man who refers to eating as “going to get noms” should be doused in petrol, set on fire and thrown under a speeding bus.
I can understand or at least appreciate why people would dislike WKW. She’s quite out there when compared to the track suit and Ugg boot wearing drones that plague the streets of this country.
People love to hate what they don’t understand – whether it be William Shakespeare, Pablo Picasso or Katie from the Internet. If the words are too ‘complex’ for our modern brains – we hate it. If it’s abstract and not obvious – we hate it. And if someone wants to wear a sequinned blazer with a geometric print dress and fluffy boots – well, we might as well hate that too!
Surely hate should be saved for people who actually do bad?
But it’s really a site designed for women to comment on, I don’t think bored men enter into the equation…
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