Crying fucking shame. It really is.
He was great in Brokeback Mountain and it looks like he might end up being the definitive Joker, who knows what he could have done given time.
It sounds like this wasn’t suicide, which in a strange way makes it even sadder that he’s dead.
Lesley North spent the night trapped in her car after trying to drive across a flooded road.
Now, I’d suggest you read the article I linked to, as in that she seems to be a relatively normal if slightly unlucky individual. Well I can conclusively confirm that she’s not. She’s just been on the local news and she’s putting her miraculous rescue down to God and boy does she have some convincing arguments that it was down to him.
It’s such a strange and dare I say it strange interview that I’ve had to transcribe it. Here’s the first bit.
I honestly thought that was it, I’m going to die and from the word go I started praying. Please rescue me, rescue the car, because I’m a student I’ve got no money. But you know I do believe God was there because he kept me calm.
What? Where does the student bit come into it? Why did she feel she had to mention that? Weird, anyway she continues.
I just did what I knew was right which was pray and ended up singing my favourite hymns, choruses, stuff that I hadn’t sung for years with words that mean a lot to me and I believe it was God that got me through and he certainly sent someone who doesn’t normally go that way to find me in the morning.
Why did he wait until the morning? Was he enjoying her hymns too much? Did he think she deserved a night in the car as punishment for being a student? Who knows, forget that though let’s get to the best bit when’s she was asked if her faith had been strengthened.
Absolutely convinced God’s there because the lady would never have gone that way and she did and out of all the other cars why didn’t any of them see me but she did? No, definitely God had a big hand in that he wants me alive , I don’t know what for but he wants me alive for something and in all this, it’s him definitely.
I’d like to get this straight, God in his infinite love and compassion decided to wash this women’s car away in a flood, then make her spend a night in the freezing cold, before finally sending another lady in a car to phone the police to get her out. What’s more he did this to prove to her that she had a purpose? What purpose? Really, I mean come on, what?
The only alternative is that Ms Lesley North is a 45 year old student that’s little bit on the odd side.
Gram Parsons’ friends took his body into Joshua Tree National Park, filled his coffin with five gallons of petrol (or indeed gasoline, yeehaw) and struck a match to it. Suffice it to say this process did not leave them with a lovely little urn of ashes. No sir. It left them with smoldering bits of charred corpse hanging off yuccas.
Now, I love the idea of my friends carrying out my final wishes, as Gram’s were sort of, but please for the love of Christ get it right people. Plan it a bit.
I don’t want bits of my, undoubtedly good looking, corpse left in smoking lumps in some fuzzy tree desert. I want a fireball you can see from space. Well actually I don’t want that at all, I’d rather have my body chopped up and amusing things done with it.
Chop my fingers off and use them to scam Heinz, claiming that you found them in tins of pea and ham, leave my head in the freezers at Asda to freak out pensioners. Go on go wild, I won’t mind. Hell, I’ll be dead.
Whatever you do though, don’t mourn.
Actually no, I’ve changed my mind again I want the following.
I suppose it might be a bit morbid but fuck it, it’s what I want so no arguments, OK?
My post the other day about the anti-piracy ads on DVDs reminded me of this spot on piece from the IT Crowd.
That’s about the size of it really isn’t it? These overblown pieces of propaganda are obscene, why should I automatically be labeled a potential movie thief for buying a DVD?
Whenever I buy a magazine, which at £4 for Sci-Fi Now is the same price as most of the DVDs I buy, I’m not forced to watch a mini documentary with a voice over warning me that photocopying is a crime, do I?
Actually I think the whole Brian Sewell thing is genius. He’s just ripped apart pretentious conceptual art student bint Amy by asking her to explain conceptual art. Needless to say she floundered.
I’m confused.
Fuck me Brian Sewell is a celebrity hijacker on Big Brother.
I give up.
I don’t really like watching Big Brother these days, it’s a great premise ruined by the production companies’ insistence on filling the house full of fame hungry idiots and the mentally ill. I’m sure if they put well balanced, ordinary run of the mill people in there it would be entertaining, as it is it just feels dirty.
Of course the annual ‘celebrity’ edition has had to be changed this year lest they put Eugene Terreblanche, Nick Griffin and the reanimated corpse of Adolf Hitler in the house with Miss J from America’s Next Top Model.
So their amazing new ‘twist’ on the tired old formula is that they put ordinary (see the first paragraph) members of the public in and let the ‘celebrities’ run it. ‘Mazin!
Anyway, whilst flicking up the channels tonight I happened upon E4 and have been mesmerised for the past fifteen minutes by the sight of this twat, hitting vegetables with an aluminium pole. Look at him.
Just watching him standing there giggling and wheezing like some weird, asthmatic, ginger child makes me want to puke. As if it could be much worse, it is he’s actually Chairman of the Scottish Youth Parliament. What?! Really?! Yes! This is his ‘biog’ from Channel 4’s website.
John is the Chairman of the Scottish Youth Parliament and was the first teenager ever to be appointed to this position. Although he is only 20, he manages a team of staff, most of whom are in their 30s and 40s. John hopes to run for office next year and is studying for a Politics and Sociology degree. John says one of his main aims in life is to tackle child poverty in the UK. John says he’d like to see a revival and attitude change towards red-haired people in the world and he would also like to show the world that being intelligent and politically active doesn’t mean you have to be boring or geeky.
He manages a team of staff! The overweight, peching, knob who’s just spent the best part of fifteen minutes hitting things with a stick has staff? How!
Of course as it says he’s not just satisfied with tackling child poverty (though how exactly hitting food with a pole brings that about I’m not certain, but let’s just assume he has a plan), he wants a change in the public attitude towards red-haired people too? John if you’re reading I’ll let you into a secret, I don’t have a problem with red-haired people, I do however have a problem with overweight dickwads who rate hitting a tomato with a stick, worthy of ten points.
Here’s a tip, perhaps it’s not your red hair that people have a problem with, maybe, just maybe, it’s your personality?
Breaking news! He’s just made up a new rule! If you don’t make every shot you get squirted with chocolate sauce! What a prick.
More news! John gets a rash if he gets in the hot tub, although he can sit beside it. So to be clear, he gets a rash if he gets in the hot tub, so that’s why he doesn’t get in. It’s definitely not his tits, ok? Not his tits.
I’ve just watched a trailer for Soul Calibur IV. The sound of cash registers ringing has just stopped, so I’ll tell you what I saw.
Darth Vader. Darth Vader and Yoda. In Soul Calibur. Fighting with lightsabers. The world has just made a popping sound and turned inside out.
How greedy is George Lucas? Obviously having lost all credibility as a filmmaker he’s decided to just become very, very rich instead. The really sad thing is that he’s done so much for the special effects industry and film making in general, to see him whore his properties like this (again) makes me want to cry.
If I see this fucking clip one more time someone is going to get injured.
Why put this on legitimate DVDs? It makes absolutely no fucking sense, I’ve bought the film, I already own my copy why do I need to be told not to steal movies? What’s more if I were to copy this DVD chances are I would trim it down and drop this fucking commercial off it anyway.
Jesus this fucks me off.
Listen to this, it’s a work of genius by a guy called Robin Galloway a DJ up in Scotland, the character is Hector Brocklebank owner (and driver for) H B Fish, or in the vernacular fash.
So, without further ado, ladies and gentlemen may I introduce you to Hector Brocklebank.
Comedy gold.
They’re making a Bill Hicks biopic! Seemingly Russell Crowe is in the frame to play him. Seems an odd choice to me.
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