crackerwax

Yawn, fucking yawn. Why do the BBC bother? BBC One has become a never ending stream of gardeners, period drama, dancing shows, cooks and unfunny comedians.

£11.29 a month in licence fees and this is all I get? Imagine if SKY demand that by law everyone in the country had to subscribe or face a criminal fucking record. Outrageous and outdated.

Have you seen Last Of The Summer Wine? Expletives fail me in my attempt to vilify this program, this so called comedy, aimed squarely at the middle class, Laura Ashley wearing, lazy minded inbred arses who’s TV only has BBC One, BBC Two and OFF , with their piano playing children and their four by four Jeeps used exclusively for driving said precious sad eyed children back and forth from school.

Only pausing occasionally to mount the pavement with their hazard warning lights flashing so they can get some more money from the cash point in order to fund their next sojourn to Sainsbury’s, to buy whatever shite it was Jamie Olivier was cooking on the TV the night previously, so they can claim to their overblown arrogant fuck wit friends that Jamies recipe’s are divine, as if that buy proclaiming the fat tongued wanker ‘King of Cookery’ they somehow know him and spend weekends in Italy with him stuffing their stupid faces with buffalo fucking mozzarella and olives

In actual fact they lead exceptionally under fulfilled lives with nothing but chintzy furniture, the occasional sweet sherry and the prospect of early retirement stopping them from killing themselves and their family in an orgy of knives, blood and piercing screams. Where the only lull would occur in order to give them time to grin manically as they carve up their children, repeating the phrase ‘Daddy loves you’ over and over again before collapsing into a blood soaked pile of dismemberd family members, sobbing and all the time wishing they’d done more with their lives than spend Sunday evenings watching turgid shite like this.

Fawlty Towers was good though.