English: The Language You Speak
There follows a helpful, if a little pedantic, guide to the English language. I will of course be adding to this as and when I remember the common abuses our language suffers at the hands of the young and dim.
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Their/There/They’re
Very straightforward this one. Their suggests ownership to, there relates to a place and they’re is simply a contraction of they are. An example would be:They’re looking for their stuff, I think they left it over there.
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Loose/Lose
Fuck me this one’s annoying. Loose is the opposite of tight, lose is the opposite of win. As in:Because it was loose I managed to lose it.
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Has/As
How thick do you have to be to not realise that has, has an H? Thick as pig shit that’s how thick. -
Random
For your reference a man cannot be random, ok? Saying that you met some random man makes absolutely no fucking sense. Saying you chose something at random is fine, saying you chose some random thing makes no sense. Gah! -
Should’ve
Thanks to Ellen for reminding me of this one.Christ this one really, really fucks me off. It’s should’ve, ok? It’s a contraction of should have. It most certainly is not should of.
They only reason that you think it’s should of is because you and your thick, grunting friends enunciate so badly that you think it sounds like of not ‘ve. Cunts.
Comments
Lynne Truss eat your heart out!!! I agree. What winds me up a treat is kids at school who write… ‘I should of done this’, rather than ‘should have’, and the overuse of the word like.
‘It’s like, so annoying.’
‘It was like really cold’, etc. Either it was really cold or it wasn’t. It can’t be like really cold.
Another one is institute, a building or an establishment for the promotion of education and institution, an organised body with a charitable purpose, an established law etc. or familiar figure in history.
It really annoys me when people say ‘can I lend some money off of you?’
No, you may borrow money from me.
No, actually, you may not.
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