Great riff that don’t you think? At one point they were the only girl band in Palo Alto (don’t say I don’t love you fact fans) and peddled a high energy punk-pop sound, things changed though and most of the influences have been polished out of The Donnas now.
In the early days they sounded like The Ramones on helium, those days are now well and truly gone and what we’re left with is tight bubble gum rock of the highest quality.
Not that I’m complaining though, after all there are only so many times you can hear teenage girls shout 1-2-3-4!
Swans are bastards. Cantankerous, curvy necked, good for nothing bastards. Think of the one fact you know about swans. Think about it now. Go on.
Thinking of it? Good. Right, I bet the fact you’re thinking of is that a swan can break a man’s arm with one flap of its wing. I’m right aren’t I? Thought so. What does that tell us about swans? I’ll tell you what it tells us, it tells us that swans have built up a reputation for being hard. These feathery bastards are laughing at us!
The only person allowed to eat swan in the UK is the Queen, have you seen her munching down on a swan burger recently? No me neither. They’ve even got to the Queen! If she can’t enjoy swan kebab meat and chips who can?
The problem is that not only is the swan the vicious, beady eyed, psychopath of the avian world, it compounds that by being moody with it. The phrase ‘cob on’, meaning someone who’s in a mood, is directly related to the fact that the name for an adult male swan is Cob!
I say it’s time to act, I’ve had enough of these bastards, it’s time we brought them down a peg or two. Next time you see a swan flick it the V sign or give it a bit of verbal (’Fuck off back to Cygnusland you fluffy white fucker!’ is one I use). They’ve got the ponds now, how long before they take the streets?
Looks like both The Long Good Friday and The Sweeney are being remade and are due for release in 2008.
Mark my words, only bad will come of this.
The Long Good Friday is the most worrying of the two. Not only is Paul W. S. Anderson attached to direct but the hole shebang has been relocated to Miami. Now give that a few moments to sink in. Miami. How the fuck is that going to work?
You’ve got a director that’s so shit he managed to fuck up Alien Vs. Predator, which if he’d actually stuck to the Dark Horse story would have been amazing, and to top it off they’ve moved the whole thing to Miami. Why?
As for The Sweeney, I’m reserving judgment on that for the moment. The big rumour is that Ray Winstone is going to be Regan and Carter might be played by Danny Dyer. This is all well and good but The Sweeney was a piece of its time, the 1970’s were integral to the stories and it just wouldn’t be The Sweeney if it were set in any other time.
Face it, The Sweeney in the eighties is The Bill, in the nineties it’s Homocide: Life On The Streets and in the noughties it’s The Shield. Unless they make this a period piece it’s fucked, at best it’s something other than The Sweeney.
I’ve been to Singapore a couple of times. I didn’t like it much, it was way too hot for a pale Jock like me.
However the one redeeming thing about Singapore was that when it rained, it rained. This particular mind numbing piece of footage was taken from the 15th floor of the Singapore Sheraton, on a Tuesday if I recall.
In 2003, while doing a bit of web testing, I accidentally booked myself a trip to New York. That’s not a joke by the way, that’s more or less the way it happened. Click, click, click, credit card details previously stored, bingo you’re off to New York.
So anyway, I booked it on Saturday and flew out the following Thursday. It was a great few days away from the stresses of work and as I went on my own I could do exactly what I pleased. Obligatory photos follow.
New York is a really cool city, being able to buy an MP3 player at two in the morning and then go and get a slice of pizza and a beer is just awesome! In fact it was so awesome that I got married there only four years later.
Not very macho I know, but hey I never claimed to be macho. That’s the trouble when you look as overtly manly as I do, people judge you, they judge you. Damn this cruel world.
Nevertheless let’s get a countdown of the best love scenes in movies, ever!
True Romance
Clarence and Alabama meet, not altogether by chance, they enjoy pie, he takes her back to the comic store he works in, shows her Spider-Man, takes her to his pad, they make love and so it begins… All of the above takes place as Charles and Eddie warble Wounded Bird and is followed by a touching conversation atop a roof. Awesome!
Blade Runner
Deckard’s told Rachel she’s a robot, she’s not too happy about it, Deckard’s a robot too ‘cept he don’t know it, so in his clumsy robot way he decides to comfort her. Cue Vangelis and some dodgy fumbling. Of course it all ends well-ish, robot love is tough in 2019.
Out Of Sight
George Clooney, smooth criminal that he is, manages to seduce the Fed that’s on his tail (the actually quite good J-Lo). They meet in a hotel bar, snow falling outside the window, exchange some sexually charged chat and before you know it, it’s all gone slow-mo and they’re getting undressed in a hotel room.
The reason for this list’s existence is that we happened to watch True Romance on Sky Movies tonight. That and the fact the Leprekorn says that all I do is rant, so Leprekorn this one’s for you!
Swedish eclectopop princess Stina Nordenstam released And She Closed Her Eyes in 1994, not that you’d know it but she did. It’s a neat little album and it contains this soothing groove here:
Ambient smooth sounds, yet at the same time working in a bit of sax, how did she do it? Mark Radcliffe I recall played this to death. Those were the days though, Mark and Lard on the late shift playing brilliant alt-pop, it was like John Peel’s show but with tunes.
It was great being able to listen to the radio and know that you were going to hear new stuff, non-mainstream stuff that you knew you weren’t going to have heard anywhere else.
Having said all this some of you may have already heard this as part of the soundtrack to Baz Luhrmann’s Romeo And Juliet, which as I recall was one of Craig Armstrong’s works. He’s good too you know?
That’s the world famous eco-nazi Kate. Never happier than when she’s repacking your shopping, lecturing you on the best way to compost your vegetable peelings or otherwise complaining about your lack of awareness of the environment.
The lovely Kate can normally be found trolling around the reduced section of supermarkets looking for damaged yoghurts. This is where I ultimately see her in the future, plodding around pushing a trolley full of Whiskas being followed by the feint whiff of piss.
Given all of this you’d think we hate her! That is not the truth though, we love her very much and relish each and every stern telling off she gives us for our bad habits. We would of course love her even more if she arrived on time some times…
I recently stumbled upon an article in the Wikipedia about number stations and it reminded just how freaky they were.
Have a listen to this, it’s one of the most famous. It’s called Lincolnshire Poacher because that’s what the tune at the start is. Stick with it, it takes a couple of minutes for the numbers to start.
In each and every bag of funions!™ there are eight delicious miniature pickled onions, bursting with vinegary goodness. An ideal snack for lunchtime, break time, anytime!
Try funions!™ today!
I’d like to thank the people at funions!™ for their very generous gift, it really was most kind, thanks guys!
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