In a shocking turn of events it would appear that Woolworths has cottoned on to the Pic ‘n’ Mix flat fee scam.
Traditional Pic ‘n’ Mix entailed filling a bag with sweets, getting it weighed and paying for the amount you bought. This was the way it’s been since the dawn of sweetie-time, it also made up about forty percent of the material for Peter Kaye’s stand up routine (in case you’re interested Rola Cola and ‘garlic bread!?’ make up the remaining sixty percent).
I digress, this pay by weight business went on for ages, until about four years ago when Woolworths introduced a new way to pay for your sweets. Pay by volume! That’s right, you got two different sized tubs one priced at £1.99 and the other slightly larger at £2.99, filled them with as many sweets as you liked and that was that.
This was a revelation and, if I’m to be completely honest, an opportunity for well intentioned freeloading. You see the sort of sweets I like were those ones that are made out of foam (bubble gum bottles if you’re feeling generous) and foam sweets are very easy to compress. Straightaway you’ll be able to spot exactly what happened every time I went for a bit of Pic ‘n’ Mix, I went in with £1.99 and came out with a container that had such density it warped space and time.
It was great and I will miss it. However I did at least find out exactly what value I’d been getting for the blag. My tub today, which was filled before I realised the new rules and was consequently at risk of collapsing in on itself and forming a black hole, cost me a whopping £3.27! Still, it’s nice to know that I saved £1.28 every time before now.
Factually incorrect as ever Jon.
At least 30% of his act is about baiting taxi drivers.
Whatever the percentages, he’s a bit of a one trick pony.
Also in rather upsetting news, I watched Eight Out Of Ten Cats on Friday (that’s upsetting enough normally) and Dave Spikey’s replacement as team captain is Jason Manford (nope, I’ve never heard of him either) who is basically Diet Peter Kaye, i.e. slightly less fat and not as funny.
It’s good that Spikey is gone, because he is to comedy what Jade Goody is to molecular biology, but to replace him with a generic chubby northerner is just a wasted opportunity.
Oh and by the way the only reason I watched it was for Danny Dyer, geezer!
Fuck off. Dave Spikey was the funniest bloke on there.
Yawn. The northern mafia strikes again.
Jokes that start with ‘Do you remember those…’ or ‘When you was a kid…’ are doomed to shitness in my book.
That’s 90% of northern comedy.
The other 10% is about Germans bombing the chippy.