crackerwax

Christ. It’s not getting any better is it? This is supposed to be Freddie Mercury.

When will this guy learn, it takes more than a ropy outfit and a fake ‘tash, to be Freddie Mercury. For a start he’s between 50 and 120 pounds too heavy.

Good sash! I mean, we can all see it’s tied around the largest part of his belly in a vain attempt to give the appearance of a waist, but let’s be honest it adds a splash of colour to an otherwise monochrome ensemble. One tip though: most peoples waists are below their belly buttons.

In his favour at least his photo is taken in a dressing room, which is, sort of, the kind of a place Freddie might have been found, not the most likely place (let’s not go there) but credible at least.

Actually looking at him, he looks like the bastard offspring of Andrew Neil and Tosh Lyons off of The Bill.

Also, is that hair painted on?